I used to be one of the last die-hard believers in magical figures—like the jolly old man in red who supposedly delivered gifts to my family, which was a unique blend of Jewish and Buddhist traditions. I believed wholeheartedly that leaving my tooth under the pillow would reward me with coins from a fairy—a notion that seemed far more plausible than the teasing from classmates who mocked me for still playing with dolls in middle school.
So, when I asked my mother my favorite question—“Who do you love the most?”—and she responded with her usual, “I love you all equally!” I took her word for it. How sweet! Even though my brother was the golden child, the firstborn, and my sister was the “miracle” baby nearly eight years later, I thought my status as the middle child was just as cherished. What a lovely thought!
Fast forward three decades, and I was still clinging to that belief—until I had my own child. My firstborn, while a handful, was undoubtedly my favorite, and I couldn’t fathom that this would ever change. However, if you’re currently in the blissful phase of parenting where everything seems perfect, you might want to stop reading now. If you think your parenting journey is akin to a never-ending Instagram highlight reel, you’re likely not on the same wavelength as I am.
For me, the chaos of toddlerhood hit hard. My surprise second pregnancy led to two energetic boys under two, and I learned a hard truth: my mother had been less than truthful. The reality is that all parents have favorites at different times, and no, they don’t always love their children equally. Sometimes, they even experience moments of frustration or dislike.
Now, before you grab your phone to call child protective services, let me clarify. I don’t have a consistent favorite, and neither did my mother. But there are certainly moments when one of my children is far more likable than the other. Toddlers, in particular, can be quite a handful. During a chaotic diaper change where I’m wrestling one child while the other is digging through my wallet, it’s hard to feel a strong affinity towards the little rascal causing the chaos.
Yet, later on, when the quieter child is throwing a fit about dinner, suddenly the tables turn. Parenting is full of these unpredictable dynamics. Underneath it all, though, the love I feel for my kids is overwhelming. There are moments that fill my heart with such love that it feels almost unbearable. In those instances, I can honestly say I feel I have no favorites; instead, I’m simply grateful for the beautiful chaos of motherhood.
However, parenting isn’t all sunshine and roses, and acknowledging this truth can reshape your perspective on your own upbringing. It makes me appreciate my parents even more for the little fibs they told to protect my feelings.
So, when my little ones inquire about my favorite, I’ll continue the tradition of sweet lies, assuring them that there could never be a favorite because my love for them is boundless. Just in case they ever find this article, I might even delete it to be safe.
If you’re interested in exploring more about parenting and family dynamics, check out our other blog posts, like this one on couples fertility journeys. For those pondering vaccine safety during pregnancy, this site offers valuable insights: How Safe is the Flu Vaccine During Pregnancy?. Moreover, for comprehensive information on infertility, visit Women’s Health.
In summary, while parents may claim they love all their children equally, the reality is often more complex. Parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs, and admitting that there are favorites at times can foster understanding and appreciation for the love that binds families together.