I never anticipated that my little ones would have such a strong aversion to the car. While expecting my first child, we invested in a charming new car seat. We meticulously installed it and even consulted a car seat inspector because the installation instructions were baffling. The car seat appeared snug and cozy. When we first placed our bundle of joy inside, we naively assumed he would peacefully drift off to sleep, just like the babies we’ve seen on TV. Even the baby featured on the car seat box was smiling brightly.
However, reality was a stark contrast. The moment we secured him in, he erupted into tears—screaming, blood-curdling screams that turned his little face blotchy. It was utterly shocking.
In an effort to soothe him, I decided to sit in the backseat. This helped a bit, but not enough. I tried giving him a pacifier, but he spat it out in defiance. I even let him suck on my finger, which worked momentarily until he pushed it away too. His pitiful gaze made it clear: he wanted to be held, and if he was going to suck on anything, it would be my breast, of course.
Nursing him while he was strapped in was impossible, and picking him up wasn’t an option. While sitting next to him provided some comfort, there were times I needed to drive. Having a baby who despises the car can turn parenting into an uphill battle—or rather, a complete nightmare.
It requires strategic planning for car trips, aiming to align them with moments when your baby is least irritable. Evening outings were particularly tough; although earlier times weren’t great, they were manageable. The ideal scenario often involved two adults: one to drive and another to comfort the baby in the backseat. Otherwise, you might find yourself stopping frequently to soothe your little one—sometimes every five minutes.
Long journeys became daunting, often necessitating significant adjustments. For instance, when my second child was an infant, we split a four-hour drive into two days, staying in a hotel overnight. It might sound extreme, but after enduring two hours of relentless wailing, I knew it was the only way to cope.
To add to the frustration, friends and family often seemed baffled by our situation. While my in-laws had similar experiences with their children, their solution from the ‘70s and ‘80s—simply taking the baby out of the car seat—wasn’t an option for me. Others would casually remark, “He’ll fall asleep eventually.” But that wasn’t true for my first child—not once. Some children might doze off if conditions align, but mine? Not a chance.
There were moments when I felt like people thought there was something wrong with my babies or me. Yes, they were intense. Yes, they had needs. However, I learned that many parents face the challenge of a baby who dislikes the car, even if their experiences don’t match the extremes of mine. This issue can add considerable stress to the already demanding life of a new parent.
It’s surprising that this topic doesn’t get more attention—just how challenging it can be when you have a baby who cries in the car. I often recall those months filled with distressing cries, feeling utterly helpless during long stretches on the highway with no exit in sight.
During that time, I became something of a recluse. Walking became my go-to, and thankfully, the grocery store was within walking distance. At one point, I even resorted to online grocery shopping to avoid the car altogether. Sometimes, you have to do what you must.
Fortunately, things improved over time. Once my babies discovered toys and snacks, they became more entertained, and the piercing cries eventually faded. Eventually, they became fine with car rides—though they did frequently ask, “Are we there yet?” to the point of driving me a bit crazy.
So if you’re a parent struggling with a baby who vehemently dislikes the car, remember, you’re not alone. Your baby isn’t unusual, and they simply know what they want, even if that means expressing it through screams. Just hang in there, and you’ll find that things will get easier before you know it.
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Summary:
Having a baby who hates car rides can be an overwhelming experience for new parents. Many find themselves strategizing trips to avoid tantrums, often leading to long-term adjustments in plans. While it can feel isolating, it’s important to know that this is a common issue that many families face. With time and patience, most children eventually adapt to car travel.