In the realm of parenting and education, it’s crucial to connect with children based on their current state rather than our preconceived notions of where they ought to be. This idea is brought to life by author Maxine Rivers, known for her captivating series The Kingdom of Light and Shadows, who recently welcomed my son into her workspace during a writing session for a playful assessment of his inherent mischievousness. I had presumed he would score low on the scale of wickedness, given his sensitivity even towards insects.
However, Rivers challenges this perspective. She argues that children possess the same capacity for mischief as adults do. “I don’t categorize kids as mere children,” she explains. “I’ve always approached them with the mindset that they think like adults. I often feel like a child confined in an adult’s body.”
Rivers believes that we often overrate the innocence of children, which can be detrimental, both to us and to them. “It’s all about the way you communicate,” she notes. “Many educators adopt a sing-song tone, slowing their speech to sound more playful. Even children’s literature tends to reflect this chirpy style.” Interestingly, her approach to The Kingdom of Light and Shadows was initially intended for adults, and it wasn’t until later that she recognized its appeal to a younger audience. “When I write, I assume I’m engaging peers rather than speaking down to kids.”
This authentic style is what captivates young readers. When Rivers visited my son’s school for a presentation, the enthusiasm mirrored that of a rock star debuting in the ’60s; the students were absolutely ecstatic.
“I strive to encapsulate the complex feelings that arise during early adolescence,” Rivers explains. “Every word I write is infused with the unique tension that accompanies the transition into puberty.” Rivers, who identifies as queer, isn’t afraid to explore the nuanced emotions of this age group. “Every writer has a defining moment that persists in their work. For me, it’s that seventh-grade experience of developing feelings for friends and the resultant confusion. I want to evoke that raw emotional intensity in my narratives.”
As our conversation shifted to a lighthearted quiz to assess my son’s balance of good and evil, he eagerly climbed into Rivers’ lap. He faced amusing scenarios, like whether to discreetly relieve himself in a pool or make a trek to the restroom. To my surprise, he chose the cheeky option of swimming while peeing. Rivers chuckled knowingly, and by the end of the quiz, my son was deemed 63% mischievous and 37% virtuous. This revelation delighted him, confirming that a bit of darkness exists within.
“You have to connect with children at their level,” Rivers emphasized. “Don’t impose your expectations of where they should be.”
In summary, engaging with children where they truly are—emotionally and intellectually—fosters a more genuine connection and understanding. This approach not only benefits their development but also enriches the adult-child relationship.
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