I have to admit, I’m not the best at navigating the world of capitalism. While I appreciate cash as much as anyone else burdened with student loans, I’m not particularly passionate about chasing profits, savings, or investments. The terminology surrounding money—earnings, dividends, equity—sounds like a distant melody to me.
However, my preoccupation with money runs deep. Growing up in a financially strained household meant we discussed money endlessly. Conversations often revolved around our tight budget: “No, you can’t have those expensive sneakers,” or “We can’t afford a doctor’s visit unless you’re really sick.” I vividly remember being told by my school that if I didn’t come up with the funds by Friday, I wouldn’t be able to graduate.
Lacking money is difficult in countless ways, yet it also serves as a sort of badge. When you grow up without it, you can’t help but view those who have it as privileged and disconnected from reality. You feel you possess a deeper understanding of life’s struggles.
Money—The Unspoken Topic
Ironically, I found myself attending a prestigious boarding school in Connecticut, surrounded by classmates from affluent backgrounds. To my surprise, these individuals rarely discussed money, as if they were under some unspoken rule to keep their financial status a secret.
Now as an adult, having reached a level of financial stability with my spouse that I never thought I’d see—our combined income just managing to outpace our debts—I’m still struck by how infrequently money comes up in conversation. Do you know what your closest friends or family members earn? It’s a subject we often shy away from.
Why is that? Why don’t we openly discuss finances as we do about trending shows or pressing social issues? I can recount the details of my childbirth experience to strangers but share my annual income with only a few trusted individuals, including my husband and accountant.
I have a general sense of who among my friends earns six figures or more, but beyond that, I’m in the dark. I can’t tell who comfortably goes on vacations and who’s racking up debt. Yet, I can name friends who struggle with personal issues like relationship troubles or workplace conflicts.
Breaking the Silence
There’s a valid argument for why we keep our financial situations private. For instance, when debating real estate or education choices, discovering that someone has a trust fund can skew the conversation entirely. In a world where earnings vary widely, it’s easy to feel both rich and poor within a single day.
The financial discussions of my youth were not particularly helpful; they only highlighted our poverty without offering insight into how to improve our situation. This lack of financial education has left me unsure about building wealth. I never learned it was okay to aspire to financial success, and that absence of dialogue was deafening.
That’s why we need to open up about money. Others might offer valuable perspectives, both practically and philosophically. By understanding their relationships with money, we might gain clarity about our own.
Sharing Knowledge
Consider this: I met my partner through mutual friends, chose service providers based on referrals, and sought advice from trusted individuals during significant life events. Why shouldn’t we rely on our close relationships to help us navigate financial matters? Money impacts our daily lives significantly, yet we treat it as a taboo subject.
When we avoid discussing our incomes and spending habits with those who know us, are we truly being honest about ourselves? Money encompasses not just practical matters but also our values, beliefs, and the uncomfortable truths about society, including issues of race and class.
While these conversations may not be easy, they are essential. Let’s support each other by sharing our financial experiences, blunders, and aspirations. After all, we can learn a lot from one another, especially as we navigate the complexities of parenthood and financial responsibility.
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