After countless hours sharing experiences with fellow stay-at-home parents (SAHPs) at the park, I’ve realized that our frustrations often overlap. This list aims to guide partners in fostering a happier family environment, because when the SAHP feels supported, the entire household thrives.
So, partners, please steer clear of the following inquiries:
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“Wow, the house is pretty cluttered.”
Really? I’ve tidied up the space multiple times already. Those toys have been sorted and spread across the floor more times than I can count. I even sacrificed part of my precious nap-time to clean up. Instead of pointing out the chaos, why not grab a cloth and help tidy up while playing with the kids? I could really use a break. -
“What did you do all day?”
If another SAHP asks this, I might joke, “Nothing.” But when you ask, it feels like you’re implying I’m just lounging around. It’s hard to articulate a day filled with imaginative play and endless requests for snacks from my little ones. Interestingly, the kids seem glued to their screens when you’re around, but not when I’m with them. -
“You seem to be raising your voice quite a bit.”
Seriously? Try spending hours trying to get kids dressed while dealing with a potty training crisis. After repeating “Put your shoes on” countless times, it’s no surprise that by the end of the day, my patience wears thin. -
“I just need 10 minutes to unwind when I get home.”
I get it, but on your way home, how about stopping for a coffee or a quick break? Once you’re home, the kids still need attention, and silence isn’t an option until they’re asleep. -
“You didn’t grab the ________ today?”
You mean the item you could’ve picked up during your day? Please don’t follow this up with, “What did you do all day?” because, honestly, bringing a toddler into a store for one item is a feat I’d rather avoid. -
“You should get a sitter for a break.”
Absolutely, but losing it at 6:15 PM because you’re late isn’t a sign I need a babysitter; it means we need better planning on your part. -
“When was the last time you had a shower?”
Just don’t go there. -
“You should try to make it a game.”
Oh, so turning a toddler meltdown into a game will solve everything? It’s not that easy. By the end of the day, I’m just trying to survive until bedtime, not create a game plan. -
“Maybe it’s time for a haircut?”
Funny how I never seem to have time to notice my appearance. If you think I need one, why not schedule it for me—along with a sitter?
Feel free to share your own requests for making life happier as a stay-at-home parent. My child just discovered a box of matches, so I need to go now.
This article originally appeared on June 26, 2014. For more insights, check out this resource on pregnancy, or explore our other posts about home insemination kits.
Summary
Navigating the challenges of being a stay-at-home parent can be tricky, and the questions posed by partners can sometimes exacerbate stress. By avoiding certain inquiries and offering support, families can maintain harmony.