Updated: Dec. 18, 2015
Originally Published: Oct. 28, 2014
The straightforward answer to why I find myself in Spanish class every Wednesday evening, motivated by a friend for support, is that Spanish was my first language from birth. However, this class is not your basic language 101; it’s “Spanish Film and Conversation.” Still, I can almost hear fluent Spanish speakers shaking their heads at my struggle. It’s not merely laziness; those of us from multicultural backgrounds understand that our language skills can weaken due to various influences, including cultural trends and location.
Cultural Context
During the 1970s and 1980s, speaking anything other than English was frowned upon—this wasn’t just a matter of preference, but a serious issue. My father often recounted stories of his immigrant father, who faced harsh consequences for speaking his native language in school. Back then, the Latino community was a small fraction of the American population, and assimilation was the name of the game. Fast forward to today, the Latino population has skyrocketed from around 9 million to nearly 60 million, with projections to double by 2060.
As a child, we were just one of many immigrant groups trying to fit in, following waves of non-English-speaking Italians and Asians. Now, even though most Latinos born in the U.S. are English dominant, there is a growing acceptance of Spanish as part of the American identity. The world is changing, and knowing a second language is not just advantageous; it’s becoming essential in a globalized market. Gracias a Dios for that.
Geographical Changes
My bilingual abilities began to fade when we moved from the vibrant Hispanic community of upper Manhattan. There, Spanish was a part of everyday life, with family and culture surrounding me. However, relocating to New Hampshire, where my four younger sisters were born, drastically altered my linguistic landscape. I often joke that our family helped integrate the state, but the reality was far from humorous. The most common question my brother and I faced? “Do you speak Puerto Rican?” As if that was a language!
While the state has evolved somewhat, there are still regions where Spanish is unwelcome, a fact my mother learned when she tried to speak it in a local store soon after we moved. Adding to the irony, I attended a French-Canadian Catholic school where only French was taught. During my first Spanish class last week, I found myself confusing “gato” with “gateau,” a testament to the battle between languages in my mind. Zut!
In my early twenties, I regained some of my language skills while living in Santiago, Chile, and Mexico City. Returning home, I felt immense pride speaking Spanish with my mother, but after her passing a decade ago, I found myself distancing from the language. It was too tied to our shared memories—dancing in the kitchen, listening to Julio Iglesias, and enjoying Abuela’s tostones.
Now, I have practical reasons to re-embrace Spanish, but I believe my renewed commitment is also a part of my healing process. My daughter is now studying Spanish in school, and she even enjoys my “Rev Up Latin” music station; we dance together, embracing our heritage.
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Summary
The journey of rediscovering my first language, Spanish, is intertwined with cultural changes and personal loss. From childhood challenges to the impact of geography, my relationship with Spanish has evolved. Now, both for practical reasons and personal healing, I am committed to reigniting that connection, all while sharing this experience with my daughter.