As someone who genuinely enjoys the experience of being pregnant, I find the journey to be both remarkable and enchanting. From stretch marks to morning sickness, the ability of a woman to nurture a child in just nine months is astonishing. Feeling the baby kick and move is a joy like no other. However, I have no desire to take one of those little bundles of joy home with me again—I’ve already had my fill with my two wonderful kids, who now articulate their thoughts quite well!
Instead, I fulfill my passion for pregnancy by carrying a child for someone else as a gestational surrogate. While surrogacy is gaining acceptance in society, it remains shrouded in mystery for many. I love discussing the process, but some questions can be a bit infuriating.
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How can you give up a baby after carrying it for nine months? Isn’t that wrong?
Honestly, it’s similar to trusting your babysitter with your kids. You likely don’t think they’ll kidnap them, right? Most gestational surrogates have their own children before they can apply, which helps them understand that newborns can be quite a handful. Yes, surrogates develop a bond with the baby, but they know from the start that the child isn’t theirs to keep. The moment you see the joy on the parents’ faces when they meet their child for the first time makes it all worthwhile. -
Won’t you feel like the baby is yours, though?
Absolutely not. Since the baby is not genetically related to me—unless I’m carrying for a family member, in which case I’d just have to embrace my new title as the World’s Best Aunt—the embryos are created using the intended parents’ or donors’ genetics. The baby is placed in my womb via IVF, not through traditional means. It’s not about giving up a child; it’s about returning them to their rightful family. -
Isn’t surrogacy just for affluent women or celebrities who want to avoid weight gain?
If that’s the case, they are certainly the exception. The majority of individuals seeking surrogates are everyday people facing challenges in starting a family. They include gay couples, single fathers, and those who have encountered infertility or health issues that prevent them from carrying a child. Their primary goal is to grow their families, just like anyone else. -
How much are you being paid? You must be making a fortune.
Asking about someone’s salary is usually considered rude. The reality is, surrogates receive compensation that often doesn’t reflect the emotional and physical toll of the process. Medical expenses are typically covered by the intended parents, and while surrogates may receive some pre-birth support, the financial aspect doesn’t adequately compensate for experiences like morning sickness or the risks involved in childbirth. -
Why not just adopt?
Interestingly, this question often comes from those who already have biological children. So, why didn’t you adopt instead of having kids? The truth is, the adoption process can be lengthy and emotionally draining. Many people desire to see their genetic lineage continue, hoping that their child inherits certain traits from them. A gestational surrogate helps make this dream a reality.
Surrogacy is undoubtedly a rollercoaster ride filled with its challenges and triumphs. When the journey concludes and the baby is cradled in their parents’ arms, you can bet I’ll shed a few tears. But it’s not because I wish to keep the child; it’s a bittersweet moment celebrating the miracle we created together. After the post-partum emotions settle, I often find myself ready to embark on this journey again, embracing the joy it brings.
For those interested in exploring more about the journey of motherhood, check out this resource as well as this expert site that provides invaluable support on these topics. If you’re curious about pregnancy and home insemination, Cleveland Clinic is an excellent resource.
In summary, gestational surrogacy is a profound experience, filled with questions and misconceptions. It’s a path taken by many ordinary people, all seeking to create families in their own unique ways.