Most parenting philosophies come with an unrealistic expectation of perfection. You’re told to prioritize your children’s needs above your own, regardless of the toll it takes on your mental health, finances, or well-being. In the pursuit of an A-plus parenting style, many of us end up feeling inadequate.
Let’s lighten the load a bit. Instead of striving for perfection, aim for a solid B-plus. A B-plus indicates that you care deeply for your children and their journey to happiness and success while also recognizing the importance of your own life—and that’s perfectly acceptable.
So, as a B-plus parent like myself, how do you navigate the criticism surrounding shouting at your kids? There’s been a surge in popular opinions suggesting that if you raise your voice, you’re somehow failing as a parent. A viral post recently highlighted one woman’s life transformation after she stopped shouting completely, while others equate yelling with physical punishment. You’ve probably experienced the disapproving stares when you raise your voice in public, and you might find yourself apologizing to others for disrupting their peace. But here’s my rallying cry to the anti-shouting crowd:
I’M ONLY HUMAN!!!
Sure, shouting can startle and even scare your kids, but sometimes that’s precisely the point. I’m not advocating for constant yelling—doing so would dilute its impact and leave you hoarse. However, there are moments when raising your voice can be a powerful tool in parenting. Here are five perfectly valid reasons to shout at your kids, if necessary.
1. Safety First
This is the most critical reason to raise your voice. If you see your child about to do something dangerous—like jumping into a bear enclosure or reaching for hazardous chemicals—yelling “STOP!” is essential for immediate attention. No one is arguing that this kind of shouting is harmful; in fact, it’s often lifesaving.
2. Cut Through the Noise
In my household, it often feels like chaos reigns, with noise levels rivaling a busy airport. If I were to gently say, “Dinner is ready,” I’d be met with blank stares (if I’m lucky). Sometimes, the only way to get everyone’s attention is to shout, “DINNER TIME!” Once we’re gathered, we can have a calm discussion. But if food starts flying, my voice will go back up again.
3. Express Your Frustration
Let’s face it—kids can be infuriating. When one child hits another and the victim is writhing in pain, the aggressor often beams with pride instead of remorse. In these moments, a simple “Please don’t do that” won’t cut it. What they need to hear is, “YOU’RE IN TIME OUT!” While I don’t insult them when I raise my voice, I use it to convey two crucial messages: you made a mistake, and I’m in charge here.
4. Model Imperfection
Sometimes, I shout because I’ve reached my limit after repeated requests for something like cleaning up toys. When this happens, I don’t feel like a bad parent; I feel human. It’s important to communicate to my kids that everyone has moments of frustration. Afterward, I’ll take the chance to apologize and remind them, “I love you, but please do what I ask.”
5. Mirror Their Behavior
Admittedly, this is a petty reason, but let’s be real—if my kids yell at me, I’m not going to respond with silence. They need to understand how it feels when someone raises their voice at them. When we’re both shouting, it becomes clear that this isn’t an effective way to communicate. Maybe they’ll learn that shouting is not the best method to express themselves, unless someone is in danger, of course.
In conclusion, being a B-plus parent means recognizing that you’ll have moments of imperfection. It’s about finding balance, loving your kids, and sometimes raising your voice when the situation calls for it. For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out resources like this excellent article on donor insemination.