I adore my pediatrician—she’s a brilliant French woman exuding a charming blend of elegance and warmth. Once, before I had health insurance, she allowed me to pay her in hugs. Sure, I received a bill later, but she handled my mortification with such grace that I couldn’t help but admire her. Despite moving away from the city years ago, I still brave the daunting drive to see her twice a year. However, she has a tendency to irritate me with her frequent inquiries, in her unique Franglish, about when I’ll be giving my daughter a sibling, based on the notion that kids need siblings.
To be fair, she’s not alone in this. There comes a phase in every woman’s life, usually between her twenties and thirties, when everyone becomes overly curious about her reproductive choices. Once you have one child, you can expect a barrage of intrusive questions from everyone, ranging from the grocery clerk to distant relatives. After welcoming my daughter and eventually marrying her father, the most common question I get is when I’ll be adding more little tax deductions to the family. The answer is simple: never. And I’m seriously considering tattooing my reasons on my forehead to avoid this endless questioning.
1. I Cherish My Sleep.
Above all, my desire for a good night’s sleep is my top reason for not wanting another child. I love sleep so much that I’d marry it if I could. My daughter is finally sleeping through the night at the age of seven, barring the occasional illness or nightmares. The thought of starting over with a newborn who screams at all hours sends me into a panic that only a generous amount of wine can soothe. Thankfully, I can sleep it off.
2. Sibling Relationships Aren’t My Favorite.
To be fair, I don’t exactly hate my siblings, but my relationships with them are complicated. One sibling I hardly hear from, and while I’m close to another, my brother and I didn’t bond until adulthood. People often romanticize sibling relationships, but I’m not convinced the narrative is universal. In my case, I only connect with one-third of my siblings, and that’s not a stellar average.
3. I Value My Finances.
Children can be incredibly expensive. While I knew this when I had my first child, I underestimated just how long they would be financially dependent on me—at least 18 years! Expenses like diapers, soccer lessons, and eventually college tuition add up quickly. I graduated with significant student debt, and I refuse to repeat that cycle for my daughter. One child can aim for Harvard, but two might need to consider community college.
4. Pregnancy Isn’t for Me.
I truly despise the idea of being pregnant again. I’ve previously mentioned this in my article about Baby Amnesia, but to reiterate: I’d rather perform my own pelvic exam in a public restroom than endure pregnancy yet again. The thought alone is enough to make me shudder.
5. I Worry About Favoritism.
I genuinely believe I would struggle with favoritism if I had another child. While others may insist that they don’t show preference, I know myself well enough to recognize that I might. After all, we once brought home a puppy, and I still harbor resentment towards him for being a needy little creature. A baby would be like a puppy on steroids, and I’m not sure I could handle that.
6. My Child is Thriving as is.
I don’t believe my daughter is lacking because she doesn’t have siblings. In fact, she seems to prefer the solo spotlight and makes her feelings clear when other kids invade her space. A friend’s toddler often needs undivided attention, leaving my daughter to retreat and create sorrowful poetry about her loneliness. My child doesn’t seem to crave a sibling, and I understand how chaotic life would become with a newborn in the mix.
7. I Don’t Need a Heir.
The first time someone asked if I felt disappointed for not having a son to carry on the family name, I was taken aback. My daughter carries my genetics; it’s not a privilege reserved for boys. Even if she takes on a different last name later, I’m confident that “Morgan” isn’t in danger of extinction.
8. It’s Just Not for Me.
I have nothing against large families; they can bring immense joy and warmth. I grew up with a large family myself. But what works for others may not suit me. I’m perfectly content with my small family, and despite some opinions suggesting otherwise, I believe families can take many forms: single-child families, two-parent families, and even families with a dozen children. Perhaps my daughter may feel deprived of siblings—some people seem to think so—but I prefer to believe that family structures can be diverse.
After all, if I were to have another child now, I’d inevitably be bombarded with questions about a third.
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In summary, my reasons for choosing not to have more children stem from a deep appreciation for sleep, financial stability, and the dynamic of my current family. While I respect those who embrace larger family structures, my personal choice is to relish the simplicity and joy of my one-child household.