A friend of mine has just received the news that she has breast cancer. She’s a young mother, navigating a new and frightening path. Reflecting on my own initial days after my diagnosis, I remember what I desperately needed to hear.
You Will Be Alright
First and foremost, I would say: “You will be alright.” I would shout it from the rooftops: “YOU WILL BE ALRIGHT!” I’d encourage her to adopt this as her daily mantra. “I will be alright… I will be alright.” Is this a promise? Absolutely. It must be. I still repeat it to myself: “I will be alright.”
Emotional Turmoil Will Pass
I would remind her that the overwhelming sadness, confusion, and constant panic will not endure. They cannot. Such a weight of despair is not sustainable. In the moment, it feels all-consuming, and although others assure you it will pass, you may not believe them right away. I remember crying in my car with my father the day after I received my diagnosis, expressing my worst fear: “What if I’m never happy again?” My father didn’t have many answers; he simply shared in my sorrow.
But I would reassure her: she will find joy again. And yes, this is true. It has to be.
Finding the Right Doctor
It’s vital to find a doctor you trust—someone who looks you in the eye, acknowledges you as a woman and a mother rather than a statistic, and provides you with the latest research about your condition. A doctor who offers a solid plan and instills hope.
Avoiding Misinformation
And I would insist—no, demand—she NEVER, EVER Googles breast cancer. The internet is filled with facts and statistics about other women’s experiences, not hers. For worries, questions, or fears, she should call her doctor. The internet is not her oracle. Instead, she could take a moment to pray, chat with a friend, go for a walk, or even vent her frustration. But never Google it.
Feeling the Pain
I’d tell her it’s natural for it all to hurt. She may feel disconnected from her body, alone, and frightened. She might find herself envying the women in the grocery store, effortlessly managing their kids and their lives, their hair effortlessly styled. You’ll remember what it feels like to glide through your day without such a heavy burden.
The kindness of others will become apparent as they offer to care for your children so you can rest. You might hear their laughter while you quietly weep nearby. Crying will become a part of this journey—sometimes gentle and cathartic, and other times raw and filled with anger.
Seeking Professional Help
I would encourage her to seek professional help. Talking to someone who understands can guide her through the emotional turmoil. They will validate her feelings and provide her with tools to navigate this new reality. My partner and I found such support invaluable; it helped us feel heard and equipped to face each step of the journey.
Embracing Vulnerability
I would urge her to embrace vulnerability. True strength often lies in acknowledging one’s weaknesses. Being open and genuine, even in moments of fear and uncertainty, can create a connection with others. People are drawn to authenticity, and it can reveal the kindness of the world around us, showing her the goodness in humanity if she allows herself to lean on others.
Letting Go of Fear
Attempts to numb the pain will prove fruitless. It’s often easier to feel everything rather than to resist. My father has often reminded me that life is like a river—it flows and changes. Holding onto fear of the rapids will only tire you out. You must let go and trust the current. There will be tumbles and spills, but eventually, you will find calm waters, where the sunlight shines down upon you. I would tell her to embrace that surrender.
Offering Support
I wouldn’t inquire about her religious beliefs or resort to the usual platitudes. Instead, I would simply hold her hand and say a quiet prayer, hoping she feels the love surrounding her. I would pray she notices the flicker of hope within herself that refuses to be extinguished, despite any setbacks. And I would hold her hand tightly, reminding her, “You will be alright.”
I would listen to her, free of judgment, and hope she sees my own recovery—because spring inevitably follows winter.
Summary
This heartfelt message aims to comfort women diagnosed with breast cancer, reassuring them that they will be okay. The importance of trusting medical professionals, avoiding internet misinformation, and seeking emotional support is emphasized. Vulnerability is framed as a strength, and the piece underscores the significance of community and self-acceptance during this challenging journey.