I relocated from Brooklyn, New York, to Florida two years ago. The transition, combined with working from home, significantly impacted my social interactions. Making connections in a new environment can be challenging, especially when your routine doesn’t include leaving the house for work.
A few months after settling in, I finally clicked with a new friend. She worked as a bartender at a charming wine bar, a spot I frequented to escape the monotony of home and engage in adult conversation. Our daughters were nearly the same age—just under two years old. I often intended to arrange a play date, but our conversations would shift, and plans never materialized.
Last year was marked by an alarming number of gun-related incidents. It seemed that every week brought news of another tragic accident. One story detailed a toddler who accidentally shot his mother with a gun he discovered under the couch while she was changing her infant sibling. Another reported a child who found a firearm in his mother’s purse at Walmart, resulting in her tragic death. Following one of these incidents, the discussion among patrons at the wine bar turned to firearm ownership. To my surprise, all five of the other customers owned guns, leaving me as the sole non-owner.
When the conversation shifted to my bartender friend, I assumed she would share my perspective. After years in a city where gun ownership was less prevalent, I automatically expected her to be in the same boat. Instead, she stated, “Oh yes, we keep a loaded shotgun by our bed. My husband travels often and is very concerned about our safety when he’s away.”
A loaded shotgun by the bed? With a toddler in the house? That realization struck me hard: it’s impossible to know who a negligent gun owner is without asking the crucial questions.
Certainly, some gun owners are responsible. They secure their firearms, educate their children about gun safety, and treat ownership with the seriousness it deserves. However, others do not take the same precautions. These individuals are not inherently bad people; their homes may simply not be safe for children.
It is entirely reasonable to ask whether a household has firearms before a play date. A piece in The Washington Post featured a mother who routinely inquires about gun ownership before allowing her child to visit others. While she faced backlash defending Second Amendment rights and comparisons to the dangers of car accidents or drownings, her concern for her child’s safety is valid. If asking about guns feels like an invasion of privacy, that’s a personal boundary that can be respected—and it might mean that the play date should happen elsewhere.
Statistics reveal that 40% of gun owners with children do not store their firearms securely. According to a 20/20 special investigative report, many parents place excessive trust in their children’s ability to resist the temptation of weapons. Tragically, nearly 1,500 children die annually from accidental shootings—a figure that remains elusive due to insufficient governmental tracking of gun safety and children. Thanks to organizations like the NRA, this issue is often overlooked.
With such alarming statistics, it’s natural for parents to be concerned. And if you believe it’s an invasion of privacy for someone to ask about guns in your home, that’s within your rights, too. However, I would hesitate to arrange a play date with someone unwilling to be forthcoming regarding such a critical issue.
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In summary, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask about firearms before arranging play dates. As parents, our priority is ensuring our children’s safety, and that sometimes requires difficult conversations.