There’s something truly nostalgic about the ’80s that resonates with those of us who grew up during that decade. I find myself feeling a bit superior when I hear ’90s kids boasting about their grunge music or Millennials raving about the merits of auto-tune. The ’80s were a unique era characterized by a life that felt like it was pulled straight from a John Hughes film, where awkwardness was celebrated and everything was a little more extreme—including my shoulder pads.
But what truly draws me to the ’80s is that I was a teenager during those years, and let’s face it, teenagers are often clueless. We wore ridiculous outfits and communicated in monosyllabic words, convinced we had the world figured out and that we were the pioneers of style. Little did we know, 20 years down the line, we’d look back at photos from our youth and cringe at our fashion faux pas.
One of my most embarrassing habits was practicing “Mrs. Alex Morgan” on my school binder. After a brief crush on a pop star, I transitioned to the fictional heartthrob from a classic teen film. I was convinced that Alex and I would eventually tie the knot, so I diligently worked on my signature. At least I spared myself the humiliation of monogrammed towels.
Step aerobics was another adventure I undertook. Until my knees began to sound like rusty hinges and I stumbled in front of the entire class, it was a fun way to break a sweat while donning neon Lycra. It’s hard to say what was more embarrassing—the step aerobics itself or my brief obsession with the ThighMaster.
My room was a shrine to the supermodels of the era, with walls plastered in photos of icons like Cindy, Christy, Naomi, and Linda. I idolized them and would practice my runway walk in private, though my attempts often resulted in tripping over the shag carpet.
I was also guilty of wearing double polo shirts with the collars flipped up, earning me the delightful nickname of “Double Polo” in high school. I was adamant about coordinating my collars, even if it was completely unnecessary.
During my preppy phase, my wardrobe consisted solely of pink and gray outfits, a trend that quickly lost its charm. My mom can attest to the lengths I went to, including dyeing pennies gray to match my pink penny loafers.
Esprit was another obsession; I owned so much of their clothing that I looked like I was on the payroll. My mom would have appreciated a discount on the identical sweatshirts that prominently featured the brand name.
Despite living in California, I jumped on the leg warmer and moon boot bandwagon, only to realize that they were unnecessary in the warm climate. Still, I felt stylish, even if it meant sweating profusely.
My hair went through a phase that can only be described as “Shirley Temple on caffeine” after my first perm. The smell of hair products back then was questionable, to say the least, and the results were often less than desirable.
I also dreamed of being a backup singer for Sting. After attending one of his concerts, I became captivated by the synchronized moves of his backup singers. I practiced my own dance moves in front of the mirror, wishing I could pursue a degree in backup singing—if only I had the vocal talent!
Shoulder pads, sweater dresses, and plastic jewelry defined my fashion sense, with styles that were both outrageous and unforgettable. If you’ve ever experienced a wardrobe malfunction due to a misplaced shoulder pad, you know how disastrous it can be.
While ’90s kids can sing every Nirvana lyric and Millennials idolize Taylor Swift, we ’80s kids know we had the best of both worlds. We could make fools of ourselves without the fear of social media documenting it all.
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In summary, the ’80s were a time of unique fashion choices, playful ignorance, and experiences that we can now look back on with fondness and a bit of embarrassment. We navigated those years without the digital footprint that today’s youth must contend with, allowing us to enjoy our youthful folly in relative privacy.