Both of my sons were nearly two feet in length at birth. They sported oversized heads, bright eyes, and long limbs. I often marveled at how I managed to carry all that baby within me, but it was true — I did. By the time they were just 10 weeks old, many assumed they were closer to six months in age.
Because of their size, especially after having a daughter in between who weighed only 6 pounds and measured 19 inches, I couldn’t help but notice the stark difference in how they were treated. The assumption seemed to be that if they looked older, they should behave accordingly. But that’s simply not the case. A child’s behavior and cognitive development aren’t dictated by their height or weight; they’re still acting in ways that are suitable for their actual age. It’s time we stopped making age assumptions based on size.
People often comment on my kids’ stature, which is usually fine, as long as they don’t expect my boys to behave like they’re three years older than their actual age. Sure, they might seem to act younger, but I can assure you, they aren’t. I refuse to let anyone pressure them into conforming to unrealistic expectations about their behavior.
My sons are the tallest in their classes. Throughout their lives, others have made remarks about their size, including me, especially when I see the grocery bill. I sometimes wonder when this relentless growth will end so I can stop buying them new clothes every few months. Just the other day, I spent over $20 on four pairs of underwear for my eldest. At 13, we’re already shopping in the men’s section. Don’t even get me started on his shoe size; I fear we’ll soon need to visit the big and tall stores. Coming from a family of tall men, with grandfathers towering at 6’4″, there’s no escaping it.
The expenses for feeding and clothing these boys can be overwhelming. I often find myself wishing for a pause button on their growth — soon, I might be the shortest person in the family!
Since childhood, they’ve always been conscious of their size, feeling somewhat different from their peers. I recall tucking my eldest in one night when he expressed a wish to be smaller like his friend, Liam. That moment broke my heart. I knew self-esteem challenges would arise eventually, but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon.
At a recent pediatrician visit, I learned that my 11-year-old is the size of an average 14-year-old, while my 8-year-old resembles most 11-year-olds. The doctor reminded me that there’s a wide range of what is considered normal, something many people overlook, especially regarding children. Some kids grow faster or slower than their peers, but that doesn’t indicate they’re developing improperly. I know that if they were smaller, they’d wish to be bigger — it’s just part of growing up. Our job as parents is to help them build confidence, regardless of their looks. We want to instill a sense of body appreciation and respect for others.
As my boys have matured and adjusted to their growing bodies, they appear more comfortable with themselves. My eldest is proud of being taller than most classmates, despite the unrealistic expectations and judgments that outsiders may impose. That’s what every parent hopes for — that their children embrace who they are, avoiding the lifelong struggle of wishing for a different appearance.
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In summary, children who are perceived as “big” for their age often face different expectations, but it’s vital to remember that growth patterns vary widely. Our role is to support their confidence and self-acceptance, helping them to appreciate their unique bodies without comparison.