I won’t tell you to cherish every moment; I remember the overwhelming chaos of juggling too many responsibilities and feeling emotionally drained. Who wants to hold on to the feeling of being completely stretched thin, every ounce of you utilized like a resourceful hunter using every part of their catch?
I can still recall the tension in my back that settled in after my third child was born. One day, I attempted to put my 5- and 2-year-olds in the bathtub to keep them occupied long enough to nurse the baby. Sitting there, the uncomfortable edges of their small stool digging into my legs, I hunched over to feed the newborn while keeping an eye on my older kids in the tub. It sounds miserable—and it was—but it was also a remarkable life hack that helped me navigate that moment. However, I was left feeling utterly spent.
Then the baby grew strong enough to sit up on her own, and the oldest child began to read. I could fill the bathtub with just a few inches of water, squeeze the baby and my now-3-year-old into one end, and hop into the shower while my first grader read nearby. While I couldn’t indulge in shaving or anything fancy, at least I could wash my hair!
Yesterday, as my three children climbed into the tub, I reminisced about those old days. Now that they’re 7, 5, and 2 ½, I can step out of the room. If I switch off the music and keep an ear out for unexpected splashes or thuds, I can finish the dishes and clean the kitchen while they bathe. I listen to their adorable conversations, filled with imaginative scenarios (“Okay, I’m the baby, you’re the dragon, and she’s the manager”), and I can’t help but smile.
I’ve started to exercise, too. My youngest sits in the stroller with a stack of board books while the older ones ride their scooters beside me. “Let’s race, Mommy! Go faster!” Someone inevitably tumbles or gets bored, but I consider those stops for TLC as part of my interval training.
There are still days when I wish for a brief escape, just a few hours by myself with someone else handling the cooking and cleaning. But those feelings are becoming less frequent. I’m like a dog who was always kept close on a leash and finally gets the freedom of a retractable one. Sometimes I still feel confined, but often I have the space to breathe and take care of myself.
This isn’t because my kids have turned into surly teenagers who shut themselves away behind closed doors. My son still asks every night, “Will you come to my bed?” And I always do. I pause for their questions during story time, no longer rushing through the pages to pack lunches because they’re now capable of drying off, putting away their clothes, and picking out their own pajamas.
Yes, many moments of connection flew by during those chaotic early years, but I didn’t miss out entirely. There’s still ample time between the postpartum haze and whatever comes next. I sit on the floor building train tracks, playing tag at the park, and snuggling. I now try to treasure these moments, capturing them in my memory like a collage. I can still picture her determined face when she insists, “No, I can do it.”
They say the days are long, but the years are short, and that rings true. Eventually, there comes a time when the hours feel just right, and the years do too, when you can slow down and soak in the love without feeling like you’re just trying to survive.
So, don’t feel guilty if you’re not always cheerful or if you can’t turn “no” into “yes.” Do what you need to get through today. The roses will still be there when you’re ready to stop and admire them. Mine are, and their sweet scent lures me in without a second thought.
Love,
Mom of Slightly Older Kids
For more insights on parenting, visit IVF Babble for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination, and check out Make a Mom for helpful tips on creating your family. Understanding developmental differences can also be insightful; learn more at Understanding Developmental Differences.
In summary, parenting young children is a challenging yet rewarding journey. Each phase brings its own struggles and joys, and while moments may seem overwhelming, they eventually shift into a more manageable rhythm. Embrace the chaos, prioritize what matters, and know that you’re not alone in navigating this beautiful chaos of parenthood.