Why is it that the only ones in my home who can sleep seem to refuse to do so? As the clock approaches bedtime, I’m not the one dragging my feet around, lingering at every piece of furniture like a snail, desperate for just a few more moments of wakefulness. For parents, heading to bed before 10 p.m. feels like hitting the jackpot—yet for my kids, it’s an entirely different story. As bedtime draws near, they unleash a wave of energy akin to a Category 5 hurricane, sending toys flying off shelves and creating chaos that looks like a storm of plastic farm animals. But then, as if on cue, everything suddenly comes to a halt.
It’s the calm before the storm, a peculiar silence where my kids move so slowly they seem to be rewinding time. Getting them upstairs feels like herding cattle away from a lush pasture. Once we navigate through the arduous process of brushing teeth and using the bathroom, sleep is still far from the horizon. Instead, we dive right back into the whirlwind of bedtime antics, which include:
- Requesting yet another glass of water.
- Asking for a late-night snack.
- Sneaking out of bed to hide under the dining table.
- Materializing at my bedside, poking my eye open with sticky fingers to see if I’m awake.
- Insisting on changing into different pajamas.
- Yelling “Mom!” for five straight minutes until I finally trudge upstairs to hear, “Hi.”
- Sneaking into each other’s rooms to check if their sibling is asleep.
- Tattling on each other for not sleeping.
- Quietly entering our room to join us for the news.
- Asking for more water—again.
- Requesting an extra bedtime story, negotiating with, “If you read me more, I’ll give you chocolate.”
- Claiming they need help using the bathroom, despite being independent for over two years.
- Choosing bedtime to recount everything that has happened in their lives up until now.
- Calling for Dad just to ask him to fetch Mom.
- Insisting I stay because they have something important to say, which turns into a three-minute ramble of “uh”s followed by, “What’s your favorite color?”
- Sneaking to the kitchen to get their own water.
- Asking me to find a toy from our zoo trip three summers ago.
- Starting to cry when I refuse to search for said toy.
- Chatting excitedly while I rummage through bins looking for it.
- Asking for yet another drink of water.
- Informing me, “It’s four more sleeps until Friday,” when popcorn is involved, and questioning, “Can we call Grandma right now?”
- Getting out of bed to search for the cats.
- Climbing into our bed and asking why we’re sleeping.
- Inquiring if they can play on the iPad.
- Telling me they don’t want to sleep because they aren’t tired.
Veteran parents assure me that eventually, my children will sleep through the night, and so will I. I remain skeptical. After navigating through sleepless newborn nights, bouts of illness, teething, and nightmares, I assumed we would soon be emerging from this sleepless phase. Instead, it seems we have at least six more years of this chaos ahead—perhaps longer. While I haven’t completely lost hope, I’d wager that my chances of winning the lottery are higher at this point. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my children need to know what my favorite color is.
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Summary
This article humorously explores the many reasons children resist sleep at bedtime, highlighting the chaotic yet endearing antics of kids during this nightly battle. It underscores the relatable struggles faced by parents in getting their children to settle down for the night while providing links to additional resources on parenting and conception.