My first child had colic for nearly 8 weeks before I fully grasped what we were dealing with. Having little experience with infants, I was unsure if all babies cried as much as mine or if I was simply failing to soothe him. No matter how loudly I sang, how energetically I danced, or how rhythmically I rocked him, he cried endlessly. And loud.
But I wasn’t a bad mother; I wasn’t failing. My son was perfectly healthy, and we were just navigating the challenging waters of colic, a reality shared by many other families. Knowing we weren’t alone provided me with the reassurance to keep dancing, even when my efforts felt futile.
When my second son arrived, I quickly realized why some moms looked at me oddly when I mentioned our sleepless nights and the struggle to get him to nap for more than half an hour. They simply didn’t understand; they had easier babies. I had now witnessed both sides: not every moment had to be a battle.
For those who have never had the “pleasure” of caring for a colicky baby, here are 20 things you should avoid saying to mothers who are already on the brink of exhaustion:
- Have you tried [insert generic parenting advice here]? Really? I’m supposed to feed him when he’s hungry? Come on, we’re tired but not that tired.
- I’m so tired today; I only got six hours of sleep last night. Six hours? I can’t recall the last time I managed more than an hour and a half. That sounds like a dream.
- Could you please quiet that child? I’m sure the elderly couples at TGI Fridays appreciate your concern. Just wait until I bring out the milk; it’ll be a real show.
- Did you see the latest episode of that show? Our television primarily streams repeat videos of Liza Minnelli because it’s the only thing that calms my baby down.
- You look pale; are you feeling OK? If you ever ask a new mom this, run away quickly. Trust me.
- When was the last time you showered? I think it was a Tuesday, but which month are we in?
- Cherish these moments; they grow up so fast. Would you be interested in babysitting?
- You think this is rough? Just wait until he’s two. How about you just punch me in the gut and run?
- Have you considered cutting gluten from your diet? Gluten is the only thing keeping me sane. Don’t take my cookies away!
- My kids never acted like that. No? Well, you might if you keep talking like that!
- Can you babysit for me? Yes, because if you haven’t experienced crying in stereo, you haven’t truly lived.
- It takes a village, but I’m busy today. Just don’t offer help if you’re not committed.
- Thank goodness those days are behind me. I’m not sure you’ve added enough salt to my wounds yet. How about some lemon juice?
- He’ll grow out of it, I’m sure. A few hours feels like forever; a few months could be an eternity.
- Childbirth doesn’t seem so bad now, does it? Nothing compares to the sheer exhaustion of pacing the floors for countless nights.
- I remember this one time my baby cried for an hour. That’s fascinating; I’ll just close my eyes for a moment.
- Exercise helps with fatigue. You know what else helps? Sleep.
- Why don’t you post more baby photos online? Because who wants to see puffy eyes, red skin, and snot bubbles?
- My parents will be visiting for two weeks. Please tell me that’s a joke.
- Strange, he never cries when I’m around. Great, then he’s all yours!
I hope these pointers are useful as you navigate friendships with new moms during those chaotic early months. While some comments might seem exaggerated, I assure you I’ve encountered each one at least once.
On a lighter note, here’s what you should say: “Let me hold the baby,” followed by “You should take a well-deserved nap.”
For anyone looking for further insights on this topic, check out this resource. Also, if you’re interested in family planning, you might want to explore this blog post about home insemination kits and this article on enhancing comfort during pregnancy.
Summary: This article highlights 20 comments to avoid when speaking with mothers of colicky babies, emphasizing the unique challenges they face. It encourages understanding and support, offering suggestions on what to say instead.