By: Emily Carter
When the sun rises and I start my day, one of my first tasks is to brush my teeth, usually while dancing at the sink. Why the jig? Because I really need to pee, but the awful taste in my mouth from the night before holds me back. Bad breath is the worst. Yet, when my little one approaches me, exuding a morning breath that could knock down a wall, it’s somehow acceptable. After all, he’s my child. The closeness we share makes even the most unpleasant scents bearable, and I secretly wish he would always want to be that near. In the comfort of our home, my kids can indulge in behaviors that would be unacceptable elsewhere. Here are a few examples:
- Sneeze Attack: My kids can sneeze right in my face from mere inches away—not with an adult’s polite demeanor, but with a full-on, messy kid sneeze. My youngest finds it amusing, gleefully shouting “achoo!” after each sneeze. I guess I needed an excuse to wash my face anyway.
- Bonk Me: My toddler loves to bonk me on the head, exclaiming “bonk” in his sweet voice. Regardless of my feelings about being knocked, I can’t help but laugh and join in.
- Drool Fest: The baby can let loose an impressive string of drool on me, whether it’s my arm or face, even after I’ve dressed for the day. His beaming smile makes it all okay—after all, it’ll dry!
- Unwanted Hats: My toddler has a knack for placing random objects on my head and declaring them hats. His joy at this simple act is contagious. Stuffed animals, puzzle pieces, and yes, sometimes even a real hat—whatever he wants goes.
- Chewing on Everything: The baby can gnaw on nearly anything that isn’t a safety hazard. If I were to chew on a remote control, people would raise eyebrows, but for him, it’s the norm. I might even take the batteries out first as a precaution.
- Endless Phone Calls: My toddler demands I engage in a pretend phone conversation, repeating the same brief exchange over and over. “Hello? Hi! How are you? Bye!” I indulge him, knowing he’ll want to “call” me again in mere moments.
- Spontaneous Noises: My children can make loud noises at any time. One moment we’re calmly watching a show, and the next, a shriek of excitement erupts. Kids are naturally exuberant, and I encourage their joyful expressions.
- Repeating Sounds: The baby can drone on with “ba-ba-ba” for what feels like an eternity, and instead of annoyance, I find myself engaging with him in this delightful back-and-forth.
- Toilet Fascination: My toddler stares into the toilet, amazed and exclaiming “Wow!” While I’ve seen countless toilets in my lifetime, his fresh perspective is refreshing.
- Bath Time Bliss: The kids can spend ages in the bathtub, splashing and playing with toys. As a parent, I often scramble to shower between their needs, but for them, it’s pure joy.
- Surprise Tackles: When I’m seated, my toddler may come barreling toward me for an impromptu tackle from behind. I can’t help but catch him and toss him forward, enjoying these moments of play while they last.
- Personal Space Invaders: My kids have no concept of personal space. They can invade at will, and I embrace their closeness. The day they stop seeking my affection will be the day I start invading their personal space.
The list of what my children can get away with is ever-evolving, just as the list of things I can do as their mom. I’ll always hold their hands in public, kiss their scrapes, and gently guide them away from dangers, no matter how old they get. They will forever be my little ones, and I cherish every moment—even when their breath smells of milk and snacks. If you’re looking for more parenting insights, check out this informative post on home insemination kits, which can also provide valuable resources for those considering parenthood.
Summary
This article humorously reflects on the various antics and privileges that children enjoy in the safety of their home, highlighting the unique bond between parents and their kids. From sneezes to spontaneous play, the author’s love and acceptance of their children’s quirks shine through, reminding us all of the joys of parenthood.