After experiencing the heartbreak of losing her son, Emily Carter, at 20 weeks, she faced an unexpected physical response—her breast milk began to flow. While her doctor recommended she bind her breasts to halt the production, she chose a different path. “I realized I had this milk and I needed to do something meaningful with it,” Carter shared with Today Parents.
Determined to make a positive impact, Carter started pumping to donate her milk. Unfortunately, her workplace was not accommodating. When she requested breaks to express milk, her employer bluntly replied, “Your baby is dead.” Carter expressed her frustration: “It doesn’t matter if I don’t have a baby to hold; I was still a lactating woman with needs.”
The Stigma Surrounding Grieving Mothers
The stigma surrounding grieving mothers is profound. When a child is stillborn, society often expects parents to simply move on, neglecting the emotional turmoil they endure. This lack of understanding can lead to hurtful comments from others, such as her employer’s callous remark. If a mother is producing milk, shouldn’t she be the one deciding how to utilize it?
Advocacy for Change
Carter is now advocating to amend the Break Time for Nursing Mothers law, which currently excludes bereaved and surrogate mothers. She hopes to broaden the language to encompass all breastfeeding mothers. Through her dedicated efforts, she successfully donated an astonishing 92 gallons of breast milk over eight months, providing over 30,000 feedings to infants in need.
This selfless journey not only helped others but also served as a source of comfort for women who have faced similar tragedies. When Today Parents shared her story on Facebook, a poignant dialogue emerged:
“My daughter was stillborn at 36 weeks. I tried desperately to prevent my milk from coming in, but after three weeks, I couldn’t stop it. I began pumping immediately, and it was cathartic knowing I could help other babies,” one mother shared.
Another added, “I completely relate to Emily’s strength. After losing my daughter at 33 weeks, I was blindsided by lactation. It became a way to honor her memory.”
The Statistics and the Need for Recognition
Every year in the U.S., around 25,000 babies, or 68 each day, are stillborn, leaving many families to cope with profound loss. The bravery of mothers who continue to produce milk in the face of such heartache, donating it to those in need, deserves recognition and protection under the same laws that safeguard other lactating women. Carter is currently involved with Mothers Milk Bank Northeast and aspires to become a breastfeeding consultant.
“Family and friends were often hesitant to mention Bryson’s name, not realizing how much I needed that acknowledgment. Now, through my work, he is brought up every day, which brings me joy,” Carter reflected.
Additional Resources
For anyone interested in home insemination, consider exploring our other blog post on the artificial insemination kit for further insights. Resources like Cleveland Clinic’s podcast can provide valuable information on fertility and pregnancy, while Intracervical Insemination offers expert guidance on related technologies.
Conclusion
In summary, Emily Carter’s journey from grief to generosity articulates a powerful message about maternal strength and the importance of supporting all mothers, regardless of their circumstances.