The Chaos of Losing a Lovey
Updated: March 2, 2021
Originally Published: October 22, 2015
As a teenager, I received a frantic phone call one evening.
“Hello?”
“Hi. Do you know where Snuggles is?” a panicked voice asked, louder than necessary. “Did you see it when you were here? Did you bring it outside? It’s okay if you did. We just need to know. We can’t find Snuggles, Emily. Where is Snuggles?!”
It was the mother of the kids I had been babysitting earlier that day. Snuggles was the beloved lovey of one of the children, and without it, she couldn’t sleep. Back then, I thought it was a bit over the top for parents to stress about a missing stuffed toy.
Now that I have my own children, I completely understand: losing a lovey is no light matter. Here’s what you experience when the cherished companion goes missing:
- A Sense of Despair
You were on the brink of achieving bedtime bliss. All that remained was brushing teeth, followed by a story, a song, and then it was grown-up time. But suddenly, disaster strikes—the lovey is gone. The dream of a peaceful evening fades, and you feel a wave of despair wash over you as you reluctantly begin the search. - Vision Impairment
The lovey, having been with your child day in and day out, seems to blend into the very fabric of your home. It becomes a colorless shadow, making it nearly impossible to spot, even with your eyes wide open. You might scour every surface and still not realize you’re staring directly at it. - A Child’s Affection
You come to the painful realization that your child may adore the lovey more than you. She can fall asleep without you, but not without that well-loved piece of fabric. Fine, Snuggles—good luck with the laundry and making lunches from now on! - Frustration Sets In
This frustration is peculiar because you can’t pinpoint who or what to blame. You might take it out on the toys scattered around, giving a swift kick to the Little People House or snapping at your partner for checking places you’ve already looked. “I just checked there! It’s not there. GAAAHHH, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!” - Desperate Bargaining
In a last-ditch effort, you start making offers to your child: “How about tonight, for a special treat, you get to sleep with the fabulous, the enchanting, the totally snuggly…Rainbow Unicorn!” Your enthusiasm is forced, and you even attempt some jazz hands, but your child is having none of it—though you knew that would happen, desperation leads you to try. - Rallying the Troops
You enlist the help of the entire household. “All hands on deck!” you shout, as your toddler rummages through the trash, exclaiming the contents: “Old bread! Something sticky!” Meanwhile, you dangle another child’s lovey in front of the dog, urging him to “Find it, boy!” But he’s not a search-and-rescue dog; he’d rather lounge and ignore your pleas. - The Relieving Find
Eventually, you locate the missing lovey. Perhaps it was hiding in an unusual spot, like inside a shoe or the toy box you kicked earlier. At this moment, relief washes over you, and you can barely muster the energy to celebrate. You toss the lovey onto the bed, turn off the lights, and collapse in exhaustion.
Having experienced this whirlwind of emotions myself, I now empathize with that mother who called me so long ago. My teenage self was utterly oblivious to the gravity of a lost lovey, and for that, I apologize. Because, as any parent can attest, losing a lovey is no laughing matter.
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In summary, losing a lovey is a chaotic and emotional experience for parents and children alike. It’s a reminder of how much these small items mean to our little ones—and how much we are willing to go through to bring them comfort.