Every morning, as I slowly come to, a relentless stream of tasks begins to parade in my mind, an unending checklist that demands my attention. It kicks off with the usual: rescue the wailing toddler from the crib, change that diaper, pour a much-needed cup of coffee, and whip up breakfast for the boys. Don’t forget to wear pants. More coffee, please.
Then comes the litany of “getting ready for school” tasks: brush teeth, pack lunches, sign permission slips. My internal dialogue adds reminders for myself: shower or at least splash some water on my face, insert contacts, grab a bite to eat. After the boys head off, a new list emerges: clean the kitchen, get dressed, prepare my own work materials for the day. Even when I finally settle into my work, the mental ticker persists: purchase rain boots for my older son, figure out dinner, donate bags of clothes to Goodwill.
At times, I wish I could simply mute my thoughts, as if I could silence the incessant ding of my to-do list echoing in my head every few seconds. I find myself muttering reminders: pack snacks, call the pediatrician for flu shots, don’t forget deodorant, rotate the tires, order Halloween supplies. Did I confirm that meeting? What’s for dinner? Is it time to make dinner yet?
While people with obsessive-compulsive disorder or anxiety may endure genuinely distressing intrusive thoughts, I don’t mean to downplay their experience when I say that my relentless to-do list feels just as intrusive. It’s always present, and there’s never a moment when it’s blank. I can envision the day I meet St. Peter and ask him to hold on while I cross off “get to Heaven” to add “research dining options in Heaven.”
Even when I consciously try to unwind—like reading a book in the evening instead of tackling another load of laundry—the nagging to-do list remains perched on my shoulder. I may remind myself to relax and enjoy my reading, but I can’t shake the feeling that every moment I take for myself only piles on more tasks for tomorrow.
Is this the reality of motherhood? Will my to-do list ever shrink? The weekends always kick off with a daunting list of chores (the ongoing project of clearing out the home office has spanned several weekends) and concludes with just as many tasks left undone.
I sometimes wonder if it’s just my family that’s less efficient, but I can’t help but think that everyone else must be juggling the same overwhelming responsibilities. There’s simply too much to manage for just two adults. Non-urgent repairs wait indefinitely, and I still find myself in maternity clothes two years after giving birth, simply because shopping hasn’t made it to the top of my list. The constant influx of stuff means managing the kids’ clothing feels like a full-time job; every three months, new clothes come in, while the old ones must be sorted, stored, or donated. The meal planning, shopping, and preparation often feel like a Sisyphean task, even with all the supposed time-saving hacks out there (which is yet another entry on my to-do list: “learn how to be a more efficient cook”). And as every parent knows, trying to tidy up while watching the kids is rarely productive—attempting to clean the office while your toddler gleefully disassembles the printer is a recipe for frustration.
Perhaps one day things will improve—maybe when my kids are older and require less of my constant attention. Perhaps I’ll finally find the time to work in my home office. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to silence this relentless to-do list for good.
In the meantime, for those tackling their family planning journey, consider exploring resources like Make a Mom’s Fertility Booster for Men to support your goals. You might also want to check out Intracervical Insemination’s insights on shellfish as they provide valuable information. For further assistance with pregnancy and home insemination, Johns Hopkins’ Fertility Center is an excellent resource.
To summarize, the struggle to manage a never-ending to-do list while balancing motherhood and personal time is a common experience. Despite the challenges, there’s hope for relief as the children grow older and responsibilities shift.