Updated: Dec. 27, 2015
Originally Published: June 23, 2015
When Taylor Swift speaks, people pay attention. This got me thinking: if her music career ever takes a backseat, she could launch a business called Swift Solutions. The concept is simple—she’d be a problem solver, a “fixer,” if you will. I’d be first in line to book her services!
Here’s a list of everyday frustrations I’d gladly pay T. Swift to tackle for me:
- Getting my kids to put on their shoes during the 90 minutes before school starts. NINETY MINUTES! How difficult can it be?
- Explaining to my mother, without hurting her feelings, that 9:30 p.m. is the first time I’ve had to myself—or with my partner—in 24 hours, and this isn’t the best time for a chat. (This isn’t about you, Mom—it’s about my sanity.)
- Convincing my spouse that, just perhaps, Tom Brady was aware of the deflated footballs, so he can stop obsessing over some alleged NFL cover-up.
- Threatening to cover South Carolina with a dome until they remove the Confederate flag. Immediately.
- Reducing the exorbitant costs of summer camp—or at least addressing the disparity between the nonexistent summer school hours for kids and the endless work hours for parents.
- Slowing down the rapid growth of toddler fingernails and the bacteria thriving on my third-grader’s feet. Why do they always seem to need attention at the same time?
- Putting an end to the tyranny of subpar all-in-one printers and their ridiculously small toner cartridges. Seriously—this must be a conspiracy. Where are the whistleblowers?
- Advocating for paid paternity leave for dads, and while we’re at it, let’s also ensure moms receive paid maternity leave.
- Managing photo storage on my phone so I can take a quick picture of my daughter’s adorable face in that cute outfit from her aunt. By the time I delete enough old photos—and didn’t I just back up this phone to free up space? Why is there never enough room in the Cloud? Meanwhile, my daughter has started crying and throwing her ice cream on the ground, ruining her cute outfit. Great, guess I’ll have to resort to a handwritten thank-you card after all.
That sums it up. If Taylor has any energy left, she should consider running for president—I’d definitely cast my vote for her!
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Summary:
In a light-hearted take on everyday parenting struggles, the author humorously outlines the various challenges she wishes Taylor Swift could resolve for her—from getting kids ready for school to managing family dynamics. The piece also touches on social issues like paid parental leave and the pitfalls of technology. Ultimately, the author expresses admiration for Swift, suggesting she should consider a career in politics.