Date: Updated: Aug. 20, 2015 | Originally Published: April 27, 2015
There we were, my 11-year-old daughter, Mia, and I, sitting together in the lunchroom of her elementary school, dressed in our pajamas. The aroma of freshly delivered pizza filled the air as we were surrounded by about 30 excited fifth-grade girls and their fidgeting parents, many of whom seemed just as nervous as their daughters.
The event was aptly named “Girls Night Out,” designed to provide insights into the process of growing up and prepare the girls for the changes that their bodies would soon undergo. If you’re a parent, you might recognize this as “the talk,” the moment when a father faces the reality that his little girl is no longer a child, with the teenage years looming ahead.
You might wonder why I, as a father, chose to attend an event predominantly for mothers and daughters. The answer is simple: Mia asked me to come along. If my daughter trusts me enough to invite me to an event that she knows might be uncomfortable, I want to nurture that trust. It’s that bond that will facilitate open communication in the years to come.
As more mothers and daughters filled the tables, I noticed the curious glances directed my way. In a different situation, I might have felt out of place, but that night was all about being there for my daughter.
After an icebreaker that could only be described as painfully awkward—where we quizzed each other on our knowledge of the female menstrual cycle—we watched an outdated video, reminiscent of 1980s Betamax tapes. The characters in the video clumsily discussed the female body, covering topics like breasts, acne, body hair, and the reproductive system. Nervous giggles erupted among the girls, each one heightening the awkwardness in the room.
Once the video concluded, the girls had the opportunity to ask questions. Some were brave enough to voice their queries aloud, while others opted for anonymity, submitting their questions on note cards. Their curiosity about impending changes was palpable, and despite the giggling, they approached the topic with genuine courage.
The adult reactions, however, were a different story. Many parents were blushing, whispering, and visibly uncomfortable. Some seemed desperate to escape the elementary school lunchroom on a Tuesday night, discussing puberty and menstruation with their daughters.
That’s when I decided to speak up for Mia’s sake. I expressed that if I treated these topics as taboo, why would she feel comfortable discussing them with me? I wanted to create an environment where she felt normal about her changing body. So, I talked openly about periods, estimating how much blood a girl typically loses, and confidently clarified that a usual cycle lasts between three to seven days. I even explained that a typical menstrual cycle occurs every 28 days and the importance of tracking those cycles.
I reassured Mia that it’s perfectly normal to feel annoyed with friends and family just before her period arrives because many girls experience that. I was candid about the uncertainty of when she would get her first period—whether it would be tomorrow or several years from now—but I emphasized that no matter when it happens, she is completely normal. I promised that her mother and I would always be there to answer any questions she might have.
Finally, I assured her that I would be available whenever she needed supplies, like tampons or pads. I also reminded her that when she’s ready for a relationship, any boy worth her time will feel the same way. Any guy who’s ashamed to be associated with a girl who has a functioning uterus isn’t deserving of her attention.
It’s crucial for fathers to take a proactive role in educating their daughters and helping them embrace their identities. We must stop treating topics like menstruation and puberty as if they are something to be ashamed of. Our daughters deserve to feel valued and understood, not like hidden secrets.
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Summary:
In a heartfelt account, a father shares his experience attending a “Girls Night Out” event with his daughter, where they discussed puberty and menstruation. By openly addressing these topics, he aimed to foster trust and communication with her. He encourages parents, especially fathers, to engage in these conversations and help their daughters embrace their identities without shame.