In my twenties, I embraced a lifestyle of indulgence and wild experiences that could rival anyone’s. There weren’t many boundaries as I reveled in the notion that this was the time to live freely before eventually settling down. Fast forward to my thirties, and my life now revolves around the daily responsibilities of raising two energetic little ones. Is this what settling down looks like?
Most days, I’m genuinely content with our tranquil family life, reminiscent of a scene from Little House on the Prairie. Yet, occasionally, the wild side of me resurfaces, much like an unwelcome heartburn, yearning for a taste of freedom. I attempt to suppress it, but sometimes I just crave shedding my ponytail and yoga pants for heels and a night of dancing at a loud bar.
This inner party girl is usually easy to keep at bay, knowing she’s not welcome at morning coffee meetups or playdates. I used to think I was alone in trying to stifle this internal spark, but that’s not the case. It seems to be a common, unspoken truth among mothers that, beneath the surface, there’s a desire to let loose.
However, be cautious when opening that metaphorical Pandora’s box. Years of suppression can lead to an overwhelming explosion of pent-up energy that’s difficult to manage. Imagine a rare night where the stars align and you find yourself out, ready to party like it’s 1999. After a few drinks, you might feel transported back in time—yes, it’s been 16 years since 1999!
But here’s the catch: you are not the same person you once were. Your past self would stumble off the dance floor in the early morning hours, indulging in greasy food without a second thought. You’d sleep until you felt like waking up, and casually meet friends for lunch before taking a nap to recharge for another night out. How did we maintain that lifestyle for so long?
The new you, however, is a different story. You might find yourself dancing like nobody’s watching, but your alcohol tolerance has significantly diminished. The excitement of the night feels exhilarating since nights out are a rarity now. Even in the haze of wine, you’ll realize that late-night snacks aren’t a great idea if you’re trying to avoid the dreaded “mommy muffin-top.”
You’ll kick off your heels only to discover your feet feel as if they’ve endured an ancient torture method. When you finally succumb to sleep, you’ll inevitably be jolted awake by a tiny finger poking your nose, demanding cereal, with perhaps some small feet bouncing on your bed. This is all the sleep you’re getting for the night.
As you rise from bed, you may wonder if something died in your mouth while you were asleep. You’ll feel older than your years, wishing you could crawl back under the covers, but the day awaits with a toddler’s birthday party, swimming lessons, or dance recitals. You’ll swear off nights like this, convinced you’re far too mature for such antics.
Instead of a simple hangover lasting a few hours, you might find it takes a couple of days to feel normal again. When did we start experiencing two-day hangovers? Why does our body betray us like this? Aging is a cruel trick that mocks the mind; just when you think you can relive those carefree moments, your body quickly reminds you that those days are behind you. That chapter has closed, and that girl is no longer here.
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In summary, as we transition from carefree party-goers to responsible parents, it’s essential to acknowledge the changes that come with age. Embracing our current reality while reflecting on our youthful exuberance can be a delicate balance.