When I returned to work after spending thirteen years as a stay-at-home mom, I struggled to detach from my job. I thought it was acceptable to reply to emails during dinner or send pitches while shopping in the grocery store. Instead of designating specific times for work, I remained constantly available. I didn’t take a vacation for three years and blurred the lines between work and home life, creating what felt like an endless workweek.
Initially, I convinced myself that demonstrating my dedication meant answering every call and email promptly, as it only took a moment. However, that mindset often led to longer engagements on my phone, causing me to miss quality time with my family.
After a few years, I learned that being available on a Saturday afternoon didn’t necessitate working. If I received an email at midnight, it could wait until morning. Before I reached this realization, I became irritable, disorganized, and made careless mistakes because I wasn’t present in any aspect of my life—work, family, or friendships. I often found myself interrupting conversations with friends to respond to work matters, and I’d show up at my partner’s house glued to my phone instead of being fully present.
I even started canceling weekly lunch dates to focus on work. A friend pointed out the absurdity of this: “We meet for 45 minutes once a week. You really can’t spare that?” As a labor and delivery nurse, she reminded me of the importance of stepping back from work to be more effective.
She was right. Constantly being available is draining and detrimental to our mental health. Just because we can respond to every demand doesn’t mean we should. For those of us who find it challenging to set boundaries, The Muse offers helpful advice: evaluate each request’s impact on your schedule, well-being, and objectives. This practice can help you get comfortable with saying no to demands that don’t serve you, allowing you to focus on what’s genuinely important.
Think of it like counting to three when you’re angry—it gives you the space to assess the situation and consider the long-term effects on your life. The article also suggests telling colleagues you’ll get back to them instead of immediately agreeing to requests. This allows you to prioritize your existing commitments and sets the expectation that you won’t respond to every request right away.
Our careers are similar to our personal relationships: people will ask for favors if they believe we will say yes. We teach others how to treat us. While we are indeed expected to work hard, that doesn’t mean we need to be available 24/7. Will it really matter if you respond to that email tomorrow instead of at 10 PM when you’re trying to relax? Is it worth taking on an extra project that could disrupt your family time?
If we don’t learn to take breaks or say no occasionally, nobody benefits—especially not the person trying to juggle too much. Once I began setting aside specific times for work, family, and self-care, I discovered that it was okay to let things wait and to decline requests. This shift didn’t hinder my career; instead, it made my family happier and improved my efficiency at work. When work becomes just a part of life rather than dominating it, productivity flourishes during dedicated hours.
Consider what you can do today. Are you delegating effectively? Have you expressed your feelings to your supervisor and colleagues? Are you assessing how you spend your time versus how you want to spend it? It doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing scenario. Valuing your career doesn’t mean you have to say yes to everything or be perpetually available. That’s a surefire way to feel overwhelmed. You can’t progress if you’re constantly anxious about falling behind.
For more insights on balancing work and personal life, check out this related blog post here. Additionally, if you’re looking for authoritative information on reproductive health, visit this resource. To deepen your understanding of related topics, explore this link.
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In summary, it’s essential to recognize that being constantly available doesn’t equate to being productive or effective. Establishing boundaries around work and personal time can lead to greater happiness and improved performance in both arenas.