You May Be a Parent If…

1. You find yourself correcting colleagues and friends for not using “please” and “thank you.”
2. You instinctively chop your own food into tiny morsels.
3. You can’t help but hum “Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere…” while washing the dishes.
4. You would gladly trade a limb for a brand-new, fully loaded minivan.
5. A fun evening for you might just be a solo trip to Target on a Saturday night.
6. You’ve attempted to re-roll an entire roll of toilet paper that has unraveled.
7. You’ve faced the dilemma of choosing between an extra ten minutes of sleep and getting through the day without a shower.
8. Staying up until 10 PM feels like a serious late-night adventure.
9. You consider waking up at 8 AM to be sleeping in excessively.
10. You find yourself spelling words out loud even when there are no K-I-D-S around to hear your S-H-I-T.
11. You’ve had discussions about poop as if you were two detectives on a crime scene.
12. You’ve hidden in the pantry to enjoy a cookie or sip wine in peace.
13. You automatically express pride to your partner after they manage a trip to the bathroom.
14. You’ve licked your fingers to clean something off a coworker’s face.
15. You think it’s completely acceptable to give kids the finger behind their backs.
16. You’ve had to scoop vomit out of your bra.
17. You’ve walked around with remnants of barf on your back all day.
18. There’s more food beneath your kitchen table than on it.
19. You’ve extracted something other than boogers from someone else’s nose.
20. If you and your partner feel more like tag-team wrestlers or zookeepers than lovers, you might just be a parent.
21. You consider shaving your legs every two weeks to be frequent grooming.
22. Other drivers have caught you belting out “Hakuna Matata” at a stoplight.
23. Your dishwasher’s top rack is filled with brightly colored plastic items, leaving no room for glasses.
24. You can engage in a lively, one-sided conversation with an inanimate object without it ever responding.

Could you be a parent?

At home insemination

For more insights, check out our post on the home insemination kit for those looking to navigate parenthood. Additionally, if you’re exploring the world of single motherhood, consider visiting this resource for important information. For anyone needing assistance with pregnancy and home insemination, Mount Sinai offers excellent resources.

In summary, parenthood brings a unique set of experiences that often redefine your priorities and lifestyle. From the mundane to the humorous, these moments create a tapestry of life that is uniquely yours.