Updated: June 27, 2023
Originally Published: April 26, 2023
Imagine this: a photo of my ex and me sitting together at one of our children’s events. Just kidding! We’ve never had that moment captured because, honestly, we never sat together — and I never thought to take a picture for social media.
In recent years, social media has flooded us with images of divorced parents coming together, showcasing their unity for the sake of their kids. These posts are heartwarming and likely provide comfort to those facing a recent separation, offering a glimpse of hope for co-parenting.
However, the comments on these posts often raise eyebrows. You might see remarks like:
- “Aw…those kids are so lucky!”
- “That’s how it should be for all divorced couples!”
- “If only everyone could put their differences aside!”
- “This is what happens when people take the high road!”
- “It’s a shame some divorced parents can be so selfish or petty.”
If you’re like me and don’t maintain a friendly relationship with your ex, you might read these and wonder, “What’s wrong with me?” Here’s the truth: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Ironically, many who criticize us for not being friends with our exes are simply spectators, believing they have the answers for everyone’s situation. In reality, the only people who truly understand what’s best for our families are us. For some, that means separating ourselves at games and events, limiting our interactions to emails or texts, and celebrating holidays with our children but not with our ex-spouses.
We can still be respectful and mature, keeping our interactions strictly business-like, because this is what promotes our own well-being. No one is in a position to judge how you navigate the complexities of co-parenting post-divorce — unless, of course, you’re engaging in harmful behaviors like disparaging your ex in front of your children or using them as pawns in disputes.
If you have chosen to be friends with your ex, that’s fantastic for your kids. If you’ve opted for a more civil approach without friendship, that’s also commendable for your children. Both scenarios can be healthy for kids.
It’s crucial to remember that not everyone’s divorce story is the same. Some may have ended things amicably, sitting down together to mutually decide on parting ways. Others, however, might have experienced a turbulent and painful split that left lasting scars. After such a life-altering event, it’s essential to choose friends who genuinely care for you and your children. When you decide not to pursue friendship with someone who has caused you pain, you’re teaching your children valuable lessons about relationships and respect.
While many people will continue to share those idyllic images of co-parenting on social media, it’s important for those of you who don’t relate to those scenarios to know that you’re doing just fine too.
For more insights on family dynamics and navigating relationships after separation, check out resources like Science Daily, which provides valuable information on fertility and family health. And if you’re interested in expanding your family, consider exploring Make a Mom for practical tips. Also, to get expert advice, visit Emily Carter, where you can find an authority on this topic.
In summary, whether you choose to be friends with your ex or maintain a professional relationship, both paths can lead to a healthy environment for your children. The key is to focus on what works best for your family, without worrying about external judgments.