Dear Mom Friends,
I understand that your responsibilities are overwhelming. Motherhood has transformed your life in profound ways, and it’s only natural to feel the weight of expectations. However, please don’t add me to the list of things you feel guilty about. I value you too much for that.
I’ve noticed how you often apologize when your child interrupts our chats for the umpteenth time or when your little one suddenly needs a bathroom break. I see the look of concern on your face when your baby starts crying again, and I can sense your unease as you wonder if I’m frustrated waiting for you while you tuck your kids into bed. You might feel terrible if my texts or calls go unanswered for days, weeks even. I hear you when you say it.
But let me assure you: there’s no need to say you’re sorry.
Children are just being children. Babies cry, toddlers have accidents, and kids can be loud and demanding. That’s simply part of life.
As your friend, I want to share in all aspects of your life, and that includes your children, who are such a crucial part of your world now. Whether we were together during those carefree sleepover days or catching up over wine and cheese, my friendship remains the same now that you’re a mom. Even if we only met after you embraced motherhood, your journey is still significant to me.
Friendship means navigating life together, and sometimes that includes dealing with spit-up, diaper changes, and a bit of chaos. I’m perfectly fine with the new normal of our hangouts, which often involve chatting at home or a playground while your kids climb and play, occasionally interrupting us.
Be kind to yourself. You don’t need to have everything figured out! It’s completely acceptable for your kids to not be perfect little angels all the time. I don’t mind if your home is cluttered with toys or if you’re juggling laundry. In fact, I’m happy to help with the mess. Just like we once supported each other through homework and moving, I want to be here for you now. Perhaps one day, I’ll be navigating these same waters myself, so I consider this good practice.
Perfection was never a requirement in our friendship, and it certainly isn’t now. I don’t mind stepping into your beautifully chaotic world, so take a breath and embrace it—I do, too. My chaos might not resemble yours exactly, but we all have our challenges.
I genuinely care about you and everything that matters in your life, even if it looks different from my own. Let’s traverse this journey together, however it unfolds.
So please, my friend, there’s no need for apologies. The only thing you owe me is to check in and ask how I’m doing, just as I do for you. And if your little ones happen to interrupt our conversation a few times, that’s perfectly alright with me.
With love,
Your Child-Free Friend
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