Let’s face it: you’re scrolling through social media or reading an article, and you encounter an opinion that really rubs you the wrong way. You feel an overwhelming urge to respond—so much so that you meticulously craft your reply, erasing and rewriting until you think it’s just right. But in a misguided attempt to soften your words, you tack on “just saying” at the end.
Yikes.
Let me break this down for you. Adding “just saying” at the end of your comment doesn’t make you sound casual or nonchalant; it makes you come off as rude, condescending, and immature. It completely undermines any thoughtful points you made prior to those two little words. You could have the most well-researched and articulate argument, but that phrase will overshadow everything, leaving people with the impression that you’re just being a jerk.
Here’s why “just saying” is problematic: it’s not just a casual remark. It’s a deflection. Deep down, you know what you said may not be the kindest or most constructive. You recognize that your words could stir up some strong reactions, but you push forward anyway. The addition of “just saying” serves as a feeble attempt to soften your comment while still insisting that you’re right and the other person is wrong.
That’s exactly what you’re implying. This trend has become all too common, with many using this phrase to excuse their rudeness, and frankly, it’s not endearing at all.
So, how can you stop using “just saying”? Here are a few tips:
- Be Kind
You’re capable of understanding the difference between being mean and being considerate. Choose kindness. No one enjoys interacting with unkind individuals. Remember, mean-spirited people often end up alone because no one wants to be around negativity. If you avoid being mean, you won’t feel the need to add “just saying” to your comments. - Pause Before You Post
Take a moment to reflect. Is it necessary to point out every flaw in the other person’s argument? Could you focus on one aspect instead? Are you attacking their character rather than discussing the content? Consider whether you truly know the person or are just making assumptions based on a few lines. Stick to the facts. - Sometimes, Say Nothing
Believe it or not, you can read something you disagree with and simply move on. Go do something productive—clean your house, take a jog, or call a friend to vent if needed. You don’t have to share every disagreement online. Sometimes, walking away is the best option.
Can we all agree to retire “just saying”? Let’s make it as outdated as dinosaurs or old catalogs. Before you use that phrase, reconsider your comment. Chances are, if you feel the need to say “just saying,” it’s better to keep it to yourself and take a break.
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In summary, let’s strive for more thoughtful conversations online by leaving behind phrases that diminish our message and embracing kindness instead.