Dear Friends,
I need to share something important. When your supportive partner is late from work, away for a trip, unwell, or otherwise temporarily unable to help, you cannot say you are “Single Momming It.” I understand you mean no harm, but that phrase misses the mark. Let’s clarify what being a “single mom” truly entails.
On most days, I am the sole parent responsible for everything—early mornings, potty training, meals, playdates, soccer practice, dentist visits, and all the other day-to-day parenting tasks. I cherish the joyful moments, but the weight of responsibility is immense.
I am the only one contributing to our child’s future, covering all expenses and making decisions about their education, social life, health, and emotional well-being. These responsibilities rest squarely on my shoulders, day in and day out, without a break. While I appreciate the support of my boyfriend who adores my child, the reality is that these duties are mine alone right now, and may remain that way.
I juggle a full-time job while caring for my son. I often work late into the night, trying to build a better future for us. My mind is constantly occupied with concerns: Am I providing enough? Did I make him laugh today? Is my love enough to make him feel valued? Each night I go to bed without anyone to reassure me that I did well or to share in the joys and challenges of parenting.
When I need some personal time—whether it’s a haircut or a dinner out—I have to pay for a sitter, if I can find one. The cost of time away from my child adds up. So please, I implore you, don’t tell me you understand what it’s like to be a single parent because your partner worked late this week. I empathize with your challenges during those moments, and I recognize that parenting can be overwhelming, even in a partnership.
However, your extra duties are temporary; mine is a lifelong commitment. I never chose this path. My greatest wish has always been to nurture my child in a household with two loving parents, but life took an unexpected turn. I’m not seeking sympathy; I know we all face our unique struggles.
My love for my child is boundless, and I am grateful for him every day. I do what’s necessary because he deserves it. While I strive to maintain a positive outlook, I ask that you acknowledge the significant difference between our experiences. We are all remarkable mothers, each with our own beautiful children, and we all endure exhausting moments. Yet, let’s reserve the term “Single Momming It” for those who genuinely are navigating that reality.
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In summary, while we all face our trials in parenting, the experience of a single mother is uniquely challenging and should be respected as such. Let’s keep the dialogue honest and meaningful.