When I was 14, I stumbled upon the unsettling truth that my mother had been reading my diary. The emotions I felt were intense: anger, hurt, and a profound sense of exposure. Just the day before, I had penned an entry brimming with teenage angst, detailing my disdain for my mother’s seemingly absurd rules. Picture a rebellious girl in the early ’90s with vibrant green hair, 16-hole combat boots, and a habit of sneaking cigarettes in the school bathroom.
Now, as the parent of a pre-teen, I find myself in a somewhat parallel situation regarding my son’s smartphone. The dilemma is clear: to read or not to read? Reflecting on my own experience, I’ve come to a straightforward conclusion — I regularly check that phone.
The rationale behind my decision to take on the role of a digital detective, akin to Nancy Drew or Sherlock Holmes, rests on one fundamental fact: these are electronic devices. In my youth, I didn’t have the vast expanse of the internet at my fingertips, nor the ability to broadcast my thoughts to hundreds of friends on social media. Times have changed.
When we finally decided to get my son his first smartphone, we established clear guidelines. The conversation went something like this: “This is your cell phone, but it actually belongs to your father and me. You may use it for communication and entertainment, provided you adhere to the rules regarding your grades, extracurricular activities, and religious commitments. I will be reviewing the contents of this phone regularly, whenever I deem it necessary. Remember, every text, Snapchat, Instagram post, and email will eventually be seen by me. If you wouldn’t feel comfortable with me seeing something you wrote or posted, then perhaps you shouldn’t be saying it at all. Because this is not your personal property, your access can and will be revoked if your academic responsibilities are not met.”
By having this upfront discussion with my son, monitoring his phone became less of an invasion of privacy and more about ensuring he and his friends steer clear of potential pitfalls. Moreover, it allows me to address important topics as they come up. By staying informed through his text messages and social media interactions, I can engage in meaningful conversations with him rather than relying on his peers to explain things. Shudder
This isn’t about a lack of trust in my son; it’s about my skepticism toward the broader world. Granting my child unrestricted access to technology without guidance feels like a precarious situation. I certainly don’t want him to navigate these waters alone and end up in trouble.
In today’s digital landscape, the notion of privacy is drastically different. Kids can share their lives with the world at the click of a button. However, if my son were to keep a traditional diary, one tucked away in a drawer, I would never invade that space.
For more insightful tips on navigating parenting, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination, which provides valuable information on the topic. Additionally, if you’re interested in more parenting advice, you can visit this link.
In summary, while I understand the sentiments of privacy and autonomy, I firmly believe that monitoring my son’s digital interactions is essential. It’s a proactive approach to ensure his safety in an increasingly complex online world, and it fosters open communication between us.