As my psychiatrist set her pen down, she looked at me and said, “I suspect you have ADD.” Her question about my struggles with daily tasks that others seemed to handle effortlessly struck a chord. In that moment, I broke down in tears, overwhelmed by the fear surrounding my finances. I didn’t even have a checking account; I had no idea what our mortgage payment was; bills often slipped through the cracks, leading to utilities being shut off—despite having the funds to pay them. My car was a mess, with trash spilling out whenever I opened the door, and I constantly forgot essentials like wipes and diaper bags.
At 34 years old, I was receiving a diagnosis that had impacted my life deeply. I had the inattentive type of ADD (ADHD without hyperactivity), and I soon discovered I wasn’t alone. A report indicated that between 2008 and 2012, the use of ADHD medications surged by 85% among women aged 26 to 34. According to Dr. Patricia Quinn, director of the National Center for Women and Girls with ADHD, the average age at which women receive a diagnosis, if they weren’t diagnosed as children, is between 36 and 38 years. Many have been misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression, which may be secondary conditions, but don’t address the underlying issue—ADHD itself.
Historically, many women went undiagnosed for various reasons. The DSM-IV stipulated that symptoms should appear by age seven, and research focused primarily on white boys, emphasizing hyperactive behaviors while overlooking the fact that many girls display symptoms later in life. The DSM-V has since adjusted the onset age to 12, allowing more women to meet the diagnostic criteria.
Awareness is growing regarding how ADHD presents itself differently in adult women compared to young boys, who typically exhibit loud, energetic behaviors. Women often grapple with everyday tasks, like managing a budget. According to a list I found on ADDitude Magazine, we often feel our lives are spiraling out of control, avoid inviting friends over due to clutter, and can easily become overwhelmed by even minor additional responsibilities. We frequently spend time searching for lost items or trying to catch up, leading to misconceptions about our character—like being perceived as selfish for not sending birthday cards.
I didn’t need to read the entire list to recognize my struggles. Reflecting on my wedding thank-you notes, I recalled how I put off writing them until I finally bought beautiful cards and feverishly penned heartfelt messages. Yet, those notes remained unwritten until our fifth anniversary. This is not the typical hyperactive boy’s experience; ADHD manifests differently in girls. A Quartz essay highlights that girls are more likely to exhibit inattentive symptoms, leading to organization issues, daydreaming, and a tendency to mask their struggles to fit societal expectations. Unfortunately, studies show girls with ADHD are significantly more likely to attempt suicide or harm themselves compared to their peers without ADHD.
The challenges don’t stop in adolescence. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America notes that about half of adults with ADHD also have an anxiety disorder, and many may experience depression or other mental health issues as a consequence of living with untreated ADHD. Clinical psychologist and ADHD expert, Michelle Frank, mentions that we have a generation of women diagnosed later in life who have had to navigate their condition without support for most of their lives.
As awareness increases, so do diagnoses among women. It can be a delicate process to find the right treatment that doesn’t worsen anxiety or other existing conditions. Personally, I struggled with feelings of inadequacy after my diagnosis, doubting my condition and feeling like an imposter. I still wrestle with those feelings, remnants of a childhood spent being told to “hurry up” or “stop daydreaming.”
However, there is hope. If you find that your experiences align with the symptoms listed by ADDitude Magazine, it’s time to speak to a healthcare professional. You don’t have to be the mother who forgets essential items or feels overwhelmed by the chaos of family life anymore. You can embrace the life you were meant to live without feeling burdened by your struggles.
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In summary, adult women can indeed be diagnosed with ADHD, often facing unique challenges that differ from those experienced by boys. Increased awareness and diagnosis rates are crucial for providing support and effective treatment options for women, allowing them to lead fulfilling lives.