Wounded souls wound others. The first time I heard this phrase, a lightbulb went off in my mind. Suddenly, so much of my past began to make sense. The tears, the struggles, the heartbreak—it all connected in a powerful yet raw manner.
I see myself as a compassionate and nurturing person. I strive to support those around me and create an inviting atmosphere. Socially, I tend to thrive, and I believe most people I interact with today would speak positively about me. At this point in my life, I feel I have a solid understanding of who I am.
But if you were to ask a few individuals from my earlier years, they might have a different perspective. The younger version of me likely has some less-than-flattering reviews floating around.
I never aimed to be hurtful; I was just young, inexperienced, and filled with insecurities. I was still a good person back then, but a whirlwind of misunderstood emotions often clouded my better traits.
Navigating youth is a journey of self-discovery, complicated by hormones, peer pressure, and the complexities of growing up. It’s no surprise that many young people feel lost and lash out at those closest to them (sorry, Mom!).
Entering adulthood can feel like riding a freight train of mistakes. I’ve made my fair share, and I’ve witnessed countless others stumble as well. It creates a ripple effect of pain that seems to pass from one person to another.
I don’t want to excuse genuinely harmful behavior; some individuals lack redeeming qualities (and I’ve encountered a few of them). However, there are often underlying reasons for people’s sudden negative actions. Hurting someone doesn’t automatically label you as a bad person.
For instance, imagine a good friend starts to act cold and dismissive. You reach out, asking if she’s okay, but she insists she’s fine, even as you see her out and about when she claims to be home. Eventually, she stops responding altogether. You’d likely feel hurt and confused, right?
Now, what if you later discover she’s been battling depression? It started slowly, but soon her life revolved around merely managing daily tasks. She withdrew from everyone but a few family members, who were struggling to help her reconnect. Would you find it easier to feel empathy instead of anger?
We rarely get to see the entire story behind someone’s actions. We may see glimpses of them at social gatherings, but we often miss the struggles behind closed doors.
It’s remarkable how our pain can influence our present and future. Many of my most regrettable moments occurred when I was grappling with my own pain. I’m grateful for those who have stood by me and offered support during those challenging times; their love has been a crucial part of my healing process.
As a parent of two young children, I strive to love and guide them through their own journeys. Yet, I know that despite my best efforts, they will face their own challenges. I cannot shield them from life’s inevitable hardships.
Life isn’t about avoiding pain; it’s about embracing it as it comes. A life free of pain is not truly lived. Many of my deepest heartaches have led to my most joyful moments.
Instead of teaching my children to evade pain, I believe it’s essential for them to learn how to respond to it. If they can grasp the concept that wounded souls wound others, they may find the compassion and forgiveness necessary to deal with the hurtful actions of others. Ultimately, that’s what those who hurt often need—and it’s something we’ve all required at some point in our lives too.
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