As schools across the nation shut their doors, discussions about managing our children at home have surged. However, the conversation often overlooks who will bear the brunt of these responsibilities. Gender roles persist, even in seemingly progressive households. Research indicates that women frequently find themselves as the “default parent,” shouldering duties like sick days, homework, and various household tasks. So, how can we navigate the upcoming weeks of disrupted childcare and homeschooling with fairness in mind?
Do not wait for the official announcement of school closures to devise your strategy. If schools remain open, consider the division of responsibilities if they do close. Follow these tips and questions as you outline your childcare plan.
If both partners are working remotely, start with these essential guidelines:
- Avoid Salary Comparisons: The partner earning more shouldn’t assume they can continue working full-time while the other takes on all childcare responsibilities.
- Create a Daily Schedule: Assign one person to be “in charge” or “on-call,” rotating this role throughout the day. Be mindful of virtual meeting obligations for both partners, ensuring that each has uninterrupted work time daily. Include meal prep duties in this schedule.
- Lower Your Standards: Allow children to use screens when necessary. Prepare your coworkers for possible disruptions during meetings. Rely on pre-packaged and frozen meals when needed. Remember to forgive yourselves and each other when tensions rise.
- Take Turns with Sick Time: If possible, alternate taking sick days so both parents can enjoy a break and engage in quality time with the kids.
- Be Flexible with Work Hours: If absolutely necessary, plan extra work hours after the kids’ bedtime or during naps. However, we shouldn’t expect working parents to juggle full-time jobs indefinitely.
For families where both partners aren’t working from home, there will likely be tougher decisions to make. Discuss the following questions:
- Are there high-risk individuals at home? If remote work isn’t an option, can you take sick leave to limit exposure? Could you bike, walk, or drive instead of using public transport? Explore ways to increase cleanliness and limit contact within your household.
- Are either partner in essential roles such as healthcare or emergency services? Can shifts be staggered to ensure one parent is always home? Is there a healthy neighbor, family friend, or grandparent available to assist?
- For hourly employees, what are the pay rates and potential penalties for calling off work? Can shifts be arranged to allow one parent to stay home? Is it possible to take sick leave without repercussions?
- How will you manage meal planning? What strategies can you use to share this added responsibility? Who will handle pick-ups for grab-and-go meals if necessary?
- If one parent is already the primary caregiver, consider treating them like a remote salaried employee, with equal responsibilities and rights.
The weeks ahead may be challenging, but by fostering equity, we can mitigate feelings of resentment that can arise even in the best circumstances. Trusting each other will significantly help in alleviating stress from all sides.
Moreover, it’s essential to seek support not only from your partner but also from your community. Parent and educator networks are collaborating like never before to offer valuable resources for remote learning. While we may feel isolated at home, we can connect through shared experiences and support each other in unprecedented ways. For more insights on this topic, check out this helpful post.
In summary, promoting equitable distribution of childcare and household responsibilities can help families navigate the challenges posed by school closures and remote work. By communicating openly and adjusting expectations, families can create a more balanced and supportive environment for everyone involved.