The notion that we have just 18 summers with our children and must make every one of them extraordinary is a pervasive theme in parenting discussions. It pops up on social media regularly, with well-meaning friends sharing reminders about the fleeting nature of childhood. This summer, it feels like the internet is particularly insistent on reminding parents to cherish each moment with their little ones.
While the sentiment has good intentions, it can also be overwhelming. I share my home with two fantastic teenagers who, while we have a close bond, are often more intrigued by their friends and screens than by spending quality time with me. My youngest, however, still enjoys my company, which is a small comfort. I find myself reflecting on the future, knowing that soon enough, they will be off living their own lives. The ticking clock can provoke feelings of nostalgia and a desire to make every moment special, but the truth is, that’s not always feasible.
Yes, we have only 18 summers, but striving to make each one perfect can lead to stress and burnout. As parents, we often juggle a myriad of responsibilities, and sometimes it’s simply not possible to create magical moments. There are days when we let our kids engage with screens while we indulge in a book or when we send them outside to play alone. Life can be complicated, especially for working parents or those navigating co-parenting situations.
The reality is that motherhood is tough enough without the added pressure to create unforgettable experiences. This mindset is akin to the mantra of “enjoy every minute because it goes by so fast.” The truth is, parenting isn’t always delightful—those toddler tantrums in public or the eye rolls from a moody tween can be downright exasperating.
When we find ourselves frustrated, we don’t need the guilt of feeling like we’re ruining our children’s childhoods. We live in a culture that often suggests if we only tried harder, our kids would have perfect lives. But the fact remains: we can’t control every aspect of their upbringing. We can certainly love, guide, and support them, but we also have to accept that not every day will be memorable.
Encouraging parents to maximize every moment can feel like a subtle way of saying we’re not doing enough. Many of us grapple with feelings of inadequacy, even when we put in our best efforts. It’s essential to acknowledge that our emotions—both joyful and challenging—are all part of the parenting journey. They shouldn’t be swept under the rug in the name of creating perfect memories.
Am I advocating against making special memories with your children? Absolutely not. What I’m saying is that it’s okay if some days don’t live up to the ideal. Mistakes will happen, and kids will sometimes choose their friends over family time. That’s perfectly normal.
This doesn’t make you a bad parent or your kids ungrateful. It doesn’t erase the wonderful moments you’ve shared, nor does it signal that your opportunity to bond is over once they turn 18. Motherhood lasts a lifetime, and if you’ve built a solid relationship, you’ll continue to make memories together long after those summers fade. They may not always be as profound or frequent, but they can still be meaningful.
As I face the reality of having just two summers left with my 16-year-old, I’m not rushing to fill our days with monumental activities. What we have is not always perfect, but it’s filled with love and trust that transcends the notion of “18 summers.”
For those navigating parenthood and considering options like home insemination, check out our post on the home insemination kit, which can provide valuable insights. Additionally, if you’re seeking more information on related topics, this resource offers a deep dive into the IVF process. And for those dealing with challenges like insomnia, this site can provide expert guidance.
In summary, while the idea of having just 18 summers can weigh heavily on parents, it’s crucial to acknowledge that not every moment needs to be extraordinary. Embrace the ups and downs, and remember that the journey of motherhood is about connection, love, and growth, rather than perfection.