Dear Moms,
It really doesn’t matter what I did for you. I might have babysat your little ones, lent a hand with a meal when your new baby joined the family, or even surprised your daughter with that coveted mermaid bathtub playset for her third birthday. Regardless, I genuinely don’t want you to feel pressured to send me a thank-you note.
I understand that your own mother instilled in you the importance of promptly acknowledging gifts and favors, making you feel that failure to do so reflects poorly on your character. You’re striving to set a positive example for your children, and it’s admirable that you want them to learn gratitude. Yet, I also recognize how busy and exhausted you are. You have enough on your plate, so let’s eliminate one more task from your overflowing to-do list. Think of it as a little bonus to the kindness I offered you.
After a long day of managing tantrums, wrangling pets, and cleaning up messes, I can only imagine how daunting it feels to write a card. Once you’ve wrangled the kids into bed after a chaotic evening, the last thing you should be worrying about is whether I’ll judge you for not sending a note about the nipple cream and hemorrhoid pads I gifted you at your baby shower. You have my full permission to skip the stationery and just take care of yourself instead.
If you’re anything like me, you probably struggle with saying “no” too often. You pour your heart into your family, friends, and even pets. You want to make the right choices, and you crave validation. Writing thank-you notes feels like the right thing to do.
In this digital age, the art of letter writing is fading. But let’s be real: that stack of blank notecards sitting on your kitchen table can become overwhelming. When you can’t find the list of gifts and givers, or when you worry your thanks won’t feel personal enough, it’s easy to procrastinate. The guilt builds, and you may feel judged for not getting it done.
But I’m not judging you at all. I think you’re amazing, and I don’t want my friends to stress over a piece of paper I’ll likely toss anyway. Instead, how about giving me a hug? I appreciate those much more. A simple in-person thank you or a quick text works just as well. Let’s catch up at the park when you need a break, and feel free to return the favor someday—but please, don’t feel obligated.
While I do appreciate thank-you notes and will certainly write them myself, I know the reality of parenthood is exhausting. I want my friends to know I’m not keeping score. I already recognize your gratitude, and I give because I think you’re fantastic, not for the sake of acknowledgment. So, I mean it: please, never write me a thank-you note.
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Summary
In the hustle of motherhood, there’s no need to stress over writing thank-you notes. The focus should be on self-care and connection rather than obligations. A hug, a text, or simply spending time together conveys gratitude just as effectively. You’re appreciated for who you are, not for your note-writing skills.
