When you’ve been with someone for an extended period, you become intimately familiar with their quirks. While knowing that your partner will always share their fries because they’re not a fan can be comforting, it also means you’ll encounter countless moments that test your patience. You might occasionally dream of being with someone new—someone who remembers to take out the trash without leaving behind a mess.
However, as behavioral economist and speaker, Alex Mercer, highlights in a recent discussion on modern relationships, seeking perfection in a partner is futile, as no one is flawless. The stranger who seems appealing is only a mystery because you haven’t yet discovered their annoying habits, whether it’s their refusal to wear appropriate winter attire or their tendency to sneeze with such volume that it could be heard across state lines (love you, sweetheart).
“When you begin to know someone on a deeper level, what do you often find?” Mercer asks. “That they can let you down in unexpected ways.” In today’s age of social media, where new connections are just a click away, it’s tempting to think the grass would be greener with a different partner. Yet, every individual has their own set of quirks that could drive you up the wall. “The annoying traits of someone you don’t know are just hidden from view until you’re in a relationship,” Mercer warns. A new partner won’t simply replace the old annoyances; they’ll bring their unique challenges.
It’s essential to recognize that while your partner may frustrate you, the comfort lies in the predictability of their habits. Unlike the fantasy partner who appears perfect on dating apps, the person beside you at night comes with a history you understand.
“Sometimes, you wake up next to your partner and wonder if this is what you want for the long haul, especially when other options seem appealing,” Mercer notes. “But remember, online profiles often showcase only the best traits, creating a skewed perception of potential partners. When you’re feeling discontent, it’s easy to think, ‘With just one click, I could connect with someone else.’
Mercer asserts that always keeping an eye out for better alternatives can sabotage the relationship you currently have. “When you’re in a relationship but constantly contemplating the allure of the outside world, it hampers your ability to invest in your current partnership,” he explains. “Relationships flourish when you dedicate time and effort to them.”
In conclusion, everyone has their annoyances, and looking beyond your current relationship for something better won’t change that reality. If you’re curious about navigating the world of home insemination, check out our post on couples’ fertility journeys. For more information on fertility treatments, visit this excellent resource.