You can’t come over to my place—seriously. This isn’t a joke. I’m not being dramatic or playing some coy game about my throw rugs being askew or a few scattered toys on the floor (though, yes, my rugs are wrinkled and there are indeed toys strewn about). I’m not obsessing over tidiness or suffering from any anxiety disorder that would cause me to fear your judgment over a few dishes in the sink (and yes, there are dishes in the sink). The reality is, my house is a complete disaster zone, and you really can’t see it—not if you value your sanity. If you did, you’d be horrified. That’s why, aside from my mom, nobody has stepped foot in my house for almost a year.
I promise this isn’t an exaggeration. My home is a chaotic mess, but it isn’t filthy. There are no roaches crawling around, no food stashed away, no dirty dishes left out. We manage to keep our dishes neatly stacked by the sink and laundry clean, even if it doesn’t quite make it into the drawers. A big shoutout to my partner for that! We also manage to take out the trash and tidy up the clutter off the floor.
The Perpetual Christmas Décor
But the rest of the house? It’s a disaster. Take, for example, our perpetual Christmas décor. Yes, you read that right. Regardless of the season, it’s always Christmas in our living room. We never took down the decorations, and at this point, I’ve decided they can stay up until they’re relevant again. The tree is still adorned with dusty ornaments, and the nativity scene is scattered throughout the room. I’ve vowed never to decorate for any holiday again because clearly, we can’t keep up with the aftermath!
I’ve told the kids, “This year, we’re cleaning it all up. You get a tree, and that’s it.” They nodded in agreement—when your child is on board with your mess situation, you know it’s serious. To avoid prying eyes, I keep the front curtains drawn. We’ve surrendered the front of the house to the kids, converting our formal dining room into their playroom. We stored away our furniture, thinking it would contain the mess, but instead, it became a toy graveyard. My partner, who has a hoarding nature, insists we might need every single toy one day, so they stay. The clutter from the playroom has spilled into the living room, making it nearly impossible to navigate through.
The Usual Chaos
And then there’s the usual chaos: piles of stuff on tables, craft materials left out, unfinished projects, a kids’ bedroom in disarray, clothes baskets everywhere—you name it, my house has it. A mountain of clothes has taken residence on top of our dog crate for about a year, and I really should do something about it.
When your home looks like mine, letting people in feels impossible. I know you’re judging me right now, thinking, “Why doesn’t she just clean it up already?” The truth is, I genuinely don’t have the time. My partner works full-time, leaving the house at dawn and returning home in pain. He does what he can, but it’s a lot to manage. Meanwhile, I’m busy homeschooling our kids. Yes, we keep that part of our lives organized, and we don’t misplace library books.
I wake up at 5 a.m. every day, including weekends, to work. I pause for parenting duties and then dive back into work until bedtime. So while my house remains chaotic, I’m busy building a career—one that I love. I can’t afford help, so the house has taken a backseat. We both juggle jobs and parenting, and something had to give, which ended up being our home’s tidiness.
Finding Balance
I know, I know; I should be sleeping more, but I’d rather spend any spare time with my kids. The house can crumble around me. Come December, those decorations will finally be relevant. We’ll have the kids clean their playroom, and I’ll take a precious afternoon to fold laundry. I have marked a day on my calendar where everything comes down, and we reclaim our spaces. I’m instituting a “anything left out gets tossed” policy.
Until then, my house remains a disaster, and no, you can’t come in. It’s isolating and frustrating. Thankfully, my mom is kind enough to overlook the chaos—love you, Mom! A few close friends who understand can drop by without judgment, but for everyone else, please just leave the packages at the door and don’t peek inside.
Resources for Managing Chaos
For more tips on managing chaos while parenting, check out this piece on culinary skills at Home Insemination Kit. If you’re curious about how to handle bossy children, visit Intracervical Insemination for some great advice. And if you’re seeking information on reproductive health, the CDC is an excellent resource at CDC Reproductive Health.
In summary, my house is a complete mess, and while I could clean it up, I’m focused on more important things—like my career and my kids. Until I can find a moment, it’s curtains for visitors.