I want to share my thoughts on the notion that we should stop telling our daughters they are beautiful. As a society, we seem to be rewriting what it means to be a girl, which is a positive and necessary change. Today’s girls are bombarded with messages that celebrate them as brave, strong, intelligent, and independent. This shift is crucial, but it has come with an unintended consequence: calling girls “beautiful” has become a controversial act.
I’ve come across numerous articles advocating that praising a girl for her looks diminishes her value as more than just a pretty face. One mother wrote an open letter beseeching her neighbors to refrain from complimenting her daughter’s hair. Another stated she avoids the word “beautiful” altogether, fearing it could foster arrogance or insecurity in her child. Even UK Women’s Minister, Clara Dallas, advised parents against using the term, suggesting it sends the wrong message about the importance of appearance. A well-known model, Lisa Monroe, echoed this sentiment, preferring to emphasize intelligence over beauty to inspire her daughter to aim higher than modeling.
Empowering Our Daughters
While I completely agree that we must encourage our daughters to reach for any goal they desire, including the presidency, why can’t we also celebrate their beauty? It seems we’ve swung too far in our attempts to empower young girls. I proudly tell my daughter she is beautiful—thousands of times a day, if I must.
My daughter is undoubtedly beautiful, just like the daughters of those mothers who express concern. I want her to grow up with the confidence that stems from knowing she is beautiful inside and out. And yes, she is more than just a pretty face, but her face is, in fact, beautiful. I also praise her for her kindness, creativity, intelligence, and humor. She is compassionate and brave, and I will continue to remind her of her many wonderful qualities, both physical and emotional.
The Importance of Affirmation
When I call her beautiful, it’s about recognizing her natural beauty in all its forms. I don’t dress her in makeup or obsess over her looks; I mean it in a pure, unfiltered way. She is beautiful, even when she’s messy, cranky, or covered in dirt. Isn’t childhood the perfect time to reinforce these affirmations? Before they encounter societal pressures about their appearance, before they hear negative remarks from peers, and before they start to crave external validation through social media.
So yes, I will continue to tell my daughter she is beautiful, and I will happily agree with others who compliment her. I want her to understand that every aspect of who she is—her mind, heart, spirit, and body—is beautiful just as it is. Complimenting her does not limit her potential; rather, it enhances her self-esteem.
Further Reading
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Conclusion
In summary, celebrating our daughters’ beauty should coexist with encouraging their intelligence and strength. A well-rounded approach to compliments can help them grow into confident, empowered individuals.