Our son, who is now 12, has recently taken an interest in American history. We thought it would be a great idea to spend a few days at the National Mall and explore the Smithsonian this summer. I want to call it “the typical DC trip,” but honestly, I’m not sure what that even means since we’ve never managed to make it as a family. This year, we had grand plans for an epic trip to Washington, D.C. I stress the word “had” because, like many families, life had other plans.
We began saving diligently, putting a specific amount into our “vacation fund” each month. By early April, things were looking good. If everything went smoothly, we’d reach our goal. I felt responsible and proud — a real adulting moment. But then, we took our two oldest kids to the orthodontist and discovered they both needed braces. The estimate left me feeling weak in the knees.
Suddenly, we faced a tough decision: should we use our vacation savings for a trip to D.C. or invest in braces and commit to a long-term payment plan? You can probably guess which path we chose. We canceled the trip and redirected that money to the orthodontist. It was a huge disappointment, but ultimately, the best choice for our family.
This seems to be the pattern in my parenting journey, and I suspect many can relate. My partner, Sarah, and I both work in education, living on a tight budget. We ensure that the mortgage is paid and the kids are well-fed and dressed adequately. However, when it comes to luxuries — like a family vacation — something always seems to derail our plans. Our vacation fund is frequently depleted by unexpected, yet necessary, expenses.
Last year, we had high hopes of going to Hawaii. We started saving, and then — surprise! — the van broke down. The year prior, we dreamed of a family cruise, only to find ourselves needing a new washer and dryer. We have gone on vacations before but not without complications. For instance, while pursuing a graduate degree, I was invited to speak at a conference in a rather remote location. The school covered part of the cost, so we thought we’d turn it into a family getaway. What seemed like a smart financial move quickly turned into a less-than-thrilling experience in a tiny town with very little to do. The highlight was the hotel pool — for all of us.
I don’t want to paint us as complete vacation failures. We did make it to Disneyland once, and it was a fantastic experience worth every cent. Yet, overall, it seems like something always obstructs our family trips. Should we be better with our finances? Should we invest in more durable appliances? Or perhaps trade our kids for ones with perfect teeth? Honestly, I’m not sure. It feels like that’s just how life is with kids, balancing family responsibilities and the quest for leisure.
I often scroll through social media, seeing friends whisking their children away on lavish vacations to Europe, frolicking around Stonehenge or exploring Iceland, and I can’t help but wonder if they’re doing everything right while I’m missing the mark. It’s perplexing how some families can afford trips beyond their backyard, while others, like us, find their vacations limited to sleeping in my parents’ living room, bracing for the moment my stepdad forgets we’re there and wanders out in his underwear.
If you find yourself stuck in this cycle of saving for a summer vacation only to have it thwarted by unexpected expenses, know that you’re not alone. Despite our best efforts to plan, life often gets in the way. Don’t let it make you feel like a failure — sometimes, things just don’t go as intended. Will it ever get easier? I can’t say for sure, but I remain hopeful. In the meantime, let’s embrace the joy of backyard adventures. Take the kids for a local hike, set up a tent in the living room, string up some fairy lights, roast marshmallows, and pretend you’re camping at Yosemite. The true value lies in spending quality family time. While we might dream of vacationing in far-off lands, wonderful moments can still happen right at home, even away from Mount Laundry.
I’ve learned to appreciate our summers at home and be thankful for what we have, even if it doesn’t include extravagant trips.