Parenting Insights
I never intended for chaos to ensue. The blame was only partially mine; I was just one player in a wild series of events fueled by sugar and excitement. Let’s be honest—what kind of person invites six 5-year-olds to spend the night?
While other kids were celebrating their birthdays with pizza parties or clown-themed events, my celebrations revolved around a Fudgie the Whale cake with Nesquik on the side. Once you’ve indulged in Fudgie, the only way to go is down, and where better to land than in the bathroom? It’s the ideal setting for a birthday princess to host a late-night game of imagination. “You, my loyal subjects, shall entertain us! Stand at the edge of the tub, and for our delight, dangle from the curtain rod!”
While 5-year-old girls may not seem particularly sturdy, gather six of them around a shower curtain rod—a rod secured firmly into the tiled walls—and you’ll witness a level of destruction worthy of any DIY disaster show.
When the rod came crashing down, we scattered like startled mice, and I, the leading rodent, dashed to my room. I leaped into my sleeping bag, breathless and flushed from the excitement, pretending I had been asleep the whole time. My reaction to my mother was a stammered, “Wha-what was that?”
Innocence until proven otherwise—unless your mom is the judge, and you know you’re in trouble. Then it’s more like, “We’ll discuss this in the morning, and if you think sleepovers are in your future, think again.”
But let’s be real; we weren’t actually sleeping. All of us were causing mischief. My mom learned, and I’ve come to realize, that sleepovers are hardly about rest.
True to her word, my mom restricted my sleepovers to one friend at a time, and never again after that Fudgie incident. My royal escapades commanding guests during a 2 a.m. game left quite an impression on her.
As for me, I’ve struggled to maintain my own boundaries. I had vowed not to allow sleepovers until my kids turned 10. However, my oldest daughter celebrated her 10th birthday in February and has since racked up over 25 sleepovers.
Before she entered third grade, she had been asking for a sleepover for ages. “Not yet,” I would insist. “When Mommy and Daddy think you’re ready,” we’d tell her. “What if that family has loaded guns in their home or eats trans fats?” I worried aloud.
She craved constant companionship with her friends, reminding me of my own childhood desire to chat all night until our words faded into drowsiness. That kind of friendship is for the young, eager to squeeze every moment into endless conversation.
Luckily, that year, we became close with a neighboring family who had a daughter beginning third grade as well. The girls hit it off, and their family shared our cookie-eating philosophy. So when both girls requested a sleepover, I relented.
We sent my daughter over one night, and a week later, we hosted her friend at our place. The evening unfolded just as I expected—lots of giggles, snacks, and hand-drawn posters declaring their best friendship. I made a few attempts to usher them to bed, but the excitement was palpable.
It was both a milestone and a non-event, the way most growing up moments are. The first time I was without my daughter under my roof felt surreal, and I was torn between pride and disappointment when she didn’t call home asking to come back. As a hostess, seeing her joy with her friend warmed my heart and made me feel prepared for this new chapter.
What I had forgotten, however, is that sleepovers are hardly about sleeping. Arranging blankets and sleeping bags was pointless, much like my pleas for them to go to sleep. The girls stayed up late and woke up early, determined to maximize their time together. They were no longer the little ones who would fall asleep after a long day; older girls seize the night instead, planning how to take on the world.
While they didn’t wreak havoc on a bathroom setup, my daughter and her friend certainly demonstrated that a sleepover is more accurately termed a wakeover. A snoozenot. A stayuplate.
As Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride might say, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” Perhaps we could call it a giggletogether or a chattyallnight instead.
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Summary
Sleepovers, often perceived as restful events, are more accurately described as lively gatherings filled with laughter and excitement. As children grow older, their sleepovers evolve from quiet slumbers to vibrant celebrations of friendship. In the end, it’s clear that these occasions are less about sleep and more about creating cherished memories.