Recently, my daughter and I stopped by the local pharmacy after school; I needed to grab a few cards. “Why don’t you choose a First Communion card for your cousin while I check out the Mother’s Day section?” I suggested.
“What’s a ‘Communion’?” my curious 7-year-old asked.
That question struck a chord with me. I felt an unsettling knot in my stomach. Growing up, I was immersed in the Catholic faith, participating in all the sacraments and even spending summers on mission trips. Though I consider myself spiritual, I often disagree with the dogmas I was taught or the way they were imposed on me.
When my daughter was born, we opted against baptism. I didn’t subscribe to the notion that our precious child was born in sin. My partner is not religious, and it felt like the right decision for our family.
Since then, we’ve occasionally enrolled her in religious summer camps, and I’ve answered her questions about faith when she’s curious. However, religion has not been a prominent aspect of our daily lives.
This realization hit me harder than expected when she encountered a situation involving her cousin, my goddaughter, who was experiencing rites of passage I hadn’t introduced her to. I answered her questions to the best of my ability, but it made me reflect on whether we were making the right choices for her.
The truth is, every day, I strive to do what is best for her. Will I ever know if my decisions were correct? Perhaps I will, if she ends up needing therapy as an adult! But as of now, we are navigating parenthood according to our own beliefs and values.
If she ever expressed a desire to learn more about religion or attend church regularly like some of her cousins, I would wholeheartedly support that. However, it must come from her own desire, not because I feel pressured to conform to societal expectations or my upbringing.
I want her to develop her own relationship with spirituality, one that is grounded in genuine connection rather than obligation. If it resonates with her, it will surely resonate with me—that will always be the guiding principle.
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In summary, my family’s approach to religion is flexible and centered on personal choice. We encourage our daughter to explore her beliefs authentically, ensuring that her spiritual journey is truly her own.