Whenever I’m out with my son, he inevitably needs to use the restroom. And sometimes, I do too. When he was younger, it was perfectly acceptable to bring him into the women’s restroom—no one batted an eye. In fact, I often saw other little boys with their mothers in there. I never minded; it was about convenience and my need to relieve myself, not about the presence of a boy in a girls’ space.
However, as he’s grown older, things have changed. I can’t believe how fast he’s becoming a young man! I sometimes wish for the days when he was a small child in cute little outfits, running around with abandon. Now, I find myself followed by a tall, lanky teenager with a deepening voice and hairy legs.
Why does he come with me? Simple: I’m not comfortable sending him into most restrooms alone! I’ve even started planning my errands around places that have single-stall restrooms, where I can send him in safely. Plus, I often need to go myself. The last thing I want is to rush through my business while worrying if he’s safe in the men’s room. And let’s be honest: women’s restrooms always seem to have longer lines. Why is that? Oh right, it’s because we tend to bring our kids in with us.
So, when it comes to certain public spaces, my teenager comes into the women’s restroom with me. It’s a necessity. If you’re in the general public and have an issue with that, you have two choices: accept it or advocate for more family-friendly and gender-neutral restrooms. No one’s bladder is more important than another’s, and until we have more inclusive facilities, he’s with me.
My son has autism and is intellectually disabled, which is why I need to be a protective mother. It’s about keeping him safe, and if you’re worried about him seeing you skip washing your hands, that’s on you.
I get it—he’s 13 and doesn’t want to walk into the bathroom with his mom. I see the surprised looks from other women, but trust me, I’m making sure he behaves. After all these years, I’ve stopped worrying about the judgmental glances. If you want to stare, go ahead—I’m not going to let societal expectations dictate our lives.
What’s the alternative? Staying home and compromising his safety? No thanks. I’d rather deal with the side-eye than risk a UTI.
This article was originally published on Oct. 5, 2017.
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Summary:
As a mother of a teenage son with autism, I face unique challenges when it comes to restroom use in public places. While my son is growing up, I must prioritize his safety and comfort, leading him to join me in the women’s restroom. This has sparked conversations about the need for more inclusive, family-friendly facilities in public spaces, allowing us to navigate these situations without fear or embarrassment.