A common misconception is that my sons are girls, a notion I gently correct by referring to them as “he” or “him.” Strangers often appear embarrassed, apologizing profusely as if mistaking my sons for girls is somehow offensive. I usually brush it off with a reassuring, “No worries!” After all, when your sons have long hair, a little confusion is just part of the experience.
I’ve always appreciated long hair on men. Back in college, I would often encourage my boyfriends to grow theirs out, and I spent years trying to persuade my husband to avoid the barber’s chair. When I had boys, I knew I wanted them to have long hair.
My eldest son almost thwarted those plans. He was born bald and remained so for nearly a year. Eventually, his hair grew, but not in a conventional manner; it blossomed into a wild halo reminiscent of Einstein. My second son, however, has straight, shining locks that cascade down past his shoulders, exuding a classic surfer vibe. As for my youngest, it’s still too soon to determine his hairstyle, but he’s cultivating a delightful crop of curls. I adore each of their unique styles.
However, not everyone shares my enthusiasm. My mother and in-laws prefer traditional short haircuts for boys. While my in-laws graciously keep their opinions to themselves, my mother openly expresses her desire to take the kids to a barber. Such objections often stem from conventional gender norms that dictate boys should have short hair and girls long hair, as if that’s the only acceptable standard. I simply choose to ignore these criticisms.
There have been other reactions regarding my sons’ hair. Someone once remarked that they looked unkempt. Initially, I found it amusing, but I soon realized that some maintenance can help keep long hair healthy without sacrificing its length. My eldest’s hair did need a bit of shaping, as it had a tendency to fuzz out in all directions. Reluctantly, I trimmed his baby hair to help the rest grow longer. To me, he looked like a little sheep after the cut, but he claims to like his shorter hair and insists it will grow long again.
The most important factor is that my sons enjoy their hairstyles. My oldest is determined to grow his hair out, while my middle son, with his shoulder-length surfer locks, proudly declares he’s aiming for knee-length. The youngest is too little to voice his preferences just yet, but I’ll certainly respect his wishes when the time comes. If he ever wants a haircut, I’ll comply (even if it brings a few tears to my eyes).
My middle son understands that having long hair requires some upkeep. We have to be cautious of debris getting caught in it. When that happens, he gets a bath, followed by a wash and conditioning session. Each morning involves brushing his hair, and on some days, I even use a straightening iron. He claims to enjoy the process, but he knows he must stay still throughout.
Occasionally, other kids confuse them for girls, calling them “she” or questioning why the girls are wearing Star Wars shirts. We correct them, and most seem to understand. Thankfully, my boys have yet to encounter any unkind remarks about their hair. Perhaps it’s because long hair on boys is becoming more accepted, or maybe it’s due to the vibrant communities we’re part of.
I take great pride in their long, silky hair. I love that they—rather than conforming to arbitrary standards—chose how they want to express themselves through their hairstyles. It’s beautiful, distinctive, and a reflection of their individuality.
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In a world of conventions, my sons’ long hair is a wonderful testament to their uniqueness, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Summary
This article explores the author’s decision to let her sons have long hair, highlighting the challenges and joys of raising boys who defy traditional gender norms. While some family members express concern over their hairstyles, the author celebrates her children’s choices and individuality.