As we sat together at the local skating rink, watching our daughters twirl and laugh, Lisa admitted, “I know it sounds crazy.” It took us weeks to coordinate this outing, largely because her busy family was juggling an astounding nine extracurricular activities.
She shared how her three children were all involved in multiple sports, filling their weekdays and weekends with endless games and practices. Despite their beautiful new home with a spacious yard perfect for soccer, it rarely saw any use. “We just don’t have the time,” she shrugged, clearly worn out.
In contrast, I explained our family’s approach: each of our four kids is allowed to participate in one activity at a time, and sometimes we have entire stretches without any scheduled commitments. Lisa’s reaction is one I hear often from other parents: a mixture of envy and disbelief.
She took pride in her “busy” lifestyle, often seen racing around town in her SUV, packed with snacks and sports equipment. Yet, she also expressed her exhaustion, cradling a venti coffee and lamenting that she lacked time for other important aspects of life. Homework for her kids often began at 9 p.m., and she couldn’t recall the last time she and her husband had a quiet evening alone. “We’ll catch up once they’re in college,” she joked, but there was a hint of sadness in her voice.
Weekends were no respite. They were filled with out-of-town tournaments or marathon practices, leaving little room for family downtime or relaxation. Sometimes, she found herself completing school projects because her kids were too drained to do so. They even squeezed in music lessons and tutoring early Saturday mornings. Just listening to her schedule made me feel tired.
It seems many parents believe that cramming their children’s schedules with activities will lead to better opportunities and skills. Sure, we all want our kids to grow up well-rounded and engaged, but at what expense? Can qualities like teamwork and self-discipline be nurtured in less stressful, more affordable ways? I believe they can.
I understand our choice to limit extracurriculars is unconventional and maybe even unpopular. However, with increasing evidence of the negative effects of over-scheduling, I feel confident in our decision.
“What do you even do with all your free time?” Lisa asked, pausing for a sip of her coffee. I told her that we prioritize free play, creativity, and family togetherness.
Friday evenings are dedicated to movie nights complete with buttery popcorn. Saturday mornings see my husband whipping up pancakes while I enjoy a well-deserved sleep-in. We might play basketball, ride bikes, or host friends for dinner. Sundays are for church and home projects, and occasionally, we travel to visit extended family. In essence, our weekends are ours to enjoy, not dictated by coaches or tutors.
My children aren’t isolated; they have social interactions too. For instance, my oldest daughter takes a ballet class once a week, while my second daughter has transitioned from basketball to drum lessons. My son is trying out a short ninja warrior course, and my toddler gets her socialization by following her siblings around. I don’t engage in Mommy-and-Me classes, as that’s not my style.
While our lifestyle may seem mundane compared to the hectic schedules of others, it brings us peace and joy. We cherish our leisurely Saturday mornings and spontaneous activities like creating forts in the living room on Sundays. Summer afternoons are filled with swimming, listening to music, and enjoying popsicles with friends.
These years with my children are fleeting, and I value the moments we spend together without a structured agenda. They are more than just time; they are memories in the making.
This way of life may not suit everyone, and that’s perfectly fine. I’m not fretting over my kids’ future college applications or whether they can master the piano before age four. Instead, we enjoy running through the sprinkler together, and they seem perfectly content.
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In summary, our choice to limit extracurricular activities in favor of family time is a conscious decision that enriches our lives. We prioritize creativity, play, and relaxation over busy schedules, fostering a harmonious family life that benefits us all.