When my younger brother, Alex, first expressed interest in enlisting in the military, I found myself in a state of disbelief. I assumed it was just a passing phase linked to his childhood obsession with military history and weaponry, rather than a genuine life choice. I also anticipated that our family would react with the same shock and concern that I felt, so I tried not to dwell on it too much.
Why would our family be so anxious?
There are three main reasons.
- Risk: I can’t speak for my siblings, but personally, I am not one to confront danger head-on. When faced with peril, my instinct is to grab my loved ones and flee (and I’m not a fast runner, either).
- National Image: The perception of Americans in certain regions of the world makes me uneasy. The last thing I want is for my brother to suffer because of a government he didn’t choose and that he wants no part of.
- Loss of Autonomy: I don’t mean surrender in the conventional sense. The military will prioritize operational needs over my brother’s individual interests. While I understand the necessity of this structure, the thought of him having to follow orders about everything from his daily routine to his assignments is unsettling. This was never something I envisioned him embracing.
However, contrary to my expectations, Alex took the plunge and enlisted last year. He completed boot camp and has just finished his training to become a medic. We were all overjoyed (read: crying and laughing simultaneously) when we learned his first assignment would be close to home, allowing us to visit each other here in the U.S. rather than in distant, perilous locations.
Shifting Perspectives on Memorial Day
Now, as Memorial Day approaches, my perspective is shifting.
I’ve always enjoyed the local parade. Living in a small town makes it easy to stroll over just before it begins and still find a cozy spot in the shade. We bring snacks and beverages, bump into familiar and unfamiliar faces, and cheer as the parade passes by—complete with antique cars, fire trucks, boy and girl scouts, and local organizations.
Among the participants are service members—Marines, sailors, and soldiers. Veterans, in particular, garner the loudest applause from the crowd. In the past, I felt somewhat detached while cheering them on; it was more of an event for the kids than anything else.
That changed a few years ago. I remember watching the news, realizing that our troops were being deployed en masse to the Middle East. Suddenly, the young sailors looked like mere kids to me. Perhaps it was the sight of them in uniform that reminded me of old Hollywood musicals, but in that moment, I recognized they could easily be my own children. For the first time, I felt tears streaming down my face for them.
But they still felt like “them.”
This year, as we attend the parade meant to honor those who have made the ultimate sacrifice, I will reflect deeply on the reality of my brother’s new life. He will forge friendships and, inevitably, face loss. As a medic, he will witness both triumphs and tragedies—saving lives while also grappling with the reality of those he cannot save. I can only imagine how that will affect him.
Our family is now part of the military community—a reality I never envisioned growing up. We don’t fit the traditional mold of a military family. I don’t subscribe to the notion that America is the best country in the world, nor do I believe any nation is inherently superior. I feel it’s our responsibility as citizens to appreciate our privileges while also questioning the status quo.
With that in mind, I recognize my duty to support Alex in every possible way. I am in awe of his courage. He has enlisted with the backing of a bewildered family, yet he’s thriving. He possesses physical strength, mental discipline, and a sense of purpose I admire. He is transforming into a figure of resilience and capability, ready to overcome any challenge in his vital role as a medic.
On Memorial Day, as I watch the soldiers march by and see them as peers of my brother, my heart will swell with pride and connection. He is one of them, and we are now united with their families, sharing in the joys and fears that come with this new chapter.
Conclusion
In conclusion, Memorial Day has evolved into a profound reminder of sacrifice, resilience, and familial bonds. As we honor those lost in service, we also embrace the new realities of our lives as a military family.