When it comes to musical talent, our eldest daughter, Lily, truly stands out. I realize that many parents believe their kids possess exceptional abilities, but Lily is extraordinarily musical. She has an uncanny knack for picking up instruments and quickly learning to play them. As a toddler, she would effortlessly harmonize with the lullabies I sang, and she composed beautiful pieces on our piano without any formal instruction.
At the age of six, inspired by her best friend, she wanted to learn the violin. After just one lesson, her instructor came to me with high praise, stating, “It’s as if she was born holding a bow. I rarely encounter students like her.” To put it simply, her talent was remarkable.
For six years, Lily attended weekly violin lessons. We changed teachers early on when we realized the first one wasn’t a suitable match, and she thrived with the second instructor. While she enjoyed playing, practicing was another story. By her fifth year, it became evident that violin practice was turning into a chore. She resisted our attempts to structure practice time, insisting she wanted to play freely rather than adhere to a routine, leading to frequent arguments over practice sessions. Despite taking short breaks, her enthusiasm was dwindling. Eventually, she expressed her desire to quit.
We attempted to navigate what we believed were typical feelings for a 12-year-old. We discussed how many adults regret giving up their instruments during childhood, emphasizing the importance of repetition and technique, even when it’s not enjoyable. We acknowledged that she had been accustomed to things coming easily to her, but at her advanced level, more effort was required. We explored different genres and let her choose what she wanted to play, but nothing seemed to work.
In the end, we recognized that her passion for music was fading, and we made the tough decision to let her quit. After countless hours invested in her lessons and our financial commitment, we stepped back. We kept her violin, hoping she might return to it on her own, but we were uncertain if we were making the right choice.
For the first year, she hardly touched the violin. In the second year, she occasionally played some Irish fiddle and revisited a few classical pieces. Then, three years later, she surprised us by saying, “I miss playing the violin. I wish I hadn’t quit.”
Her motivation for wanting to play again was unexpected. At 15, she had started contemplating college and realized she could potentially earn a music scholarship. After relocating across the country, we found a new teacher, and after a few months, she is back at it. Although she still doesn’t relish practicing, she is thriving under the guidance of her wonderful instructor.
Deciding what’s best for our children can be challenging, especially when it comes to allowing them to make significant decisions. Many parents encounter similar dilemmas, whether in music, sports, or other activities. We were filled with uncertainty and fear at the time. How do you discern if a child is simply experiencing a temporary lull or genuinely needs a break? What if allowing her to quit led to resentment later? Would we regret the years and resources invested if she never played again?
Ultimately, we chose to trust her judgment. We realized that our relationship with her and her connection to music were more valuable than forcing her to continue something she was beginning to dislike. If she was meant to pursue music, it had to come from her own desire. We decided to take a hands-off approach, believing that if it was truly meant to be, she would return to it.
Not every child comes back to an activity after taking a break, and sometimes those breaks are permanent. We had to accept that Lily was making a significant choice and would need to live with the consequences. However, I’m grateful we allowed her the freedom to decide and kept the door open for her return. Even if she had chosen not to come back, I believe it was the right approach.
Recently, she performed for the first time in four years, and unsurprisingly, she excelled. She beamed with pride over her performance, and we couldn’t have been happier. More than her musical achievement, we were proud that she took ownership of her journey and followed her instincts when it was time to make music once again.
For those navigating similar situations, I recommend exploring resources on home insemination as a means to foster creative environments. For example, you can check out this article on baby makers. Additionally, maintaining hygiene for your child is crucial, and you can find guidance on this here. For further insights on pregnancy and home insemination, this resource is highly recommended.
In summary, we learned that sometimes stepping back is the best decision a parent can make. Our daughter’s journey with music has taught us the importance of trusting her instincts and allowing her to navigate her passions in her own time.