By: Jenna Hart
Recently, I took the leap and ordered a new tankini for an upcoming vacation in late May. My intention was to try something fresh and bold. When the package arrived yesterday, my partner’s excitement was evident. I had hoped the top would rest comfortably on the high-waisted bottoms, concealing my skin. However, his expression suggested he had a different vision in mind.
I opened the box and quickly realized that the top wouldn’t meet the bottom as I had hoped. Still, I decided to try it on. I turned to face my partner.
“Please, don’t say no until you see me in the mirror! I really believe you’ll love it. It’s the most stunning swimsuit I’ve ever seen on you!” he encouraged.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the room filled with unpacked boxes—the only space in our home with a full-length mirror. As expected, my round belly was visible, and a bit of my purple C-section scar peeked above the waistband.
Unlike most women, my scar isn’t neatly tucked away. My first child’s birth took a turn after 40 hours of labor, leading to an incision higher than usual. My second son was delivered the same way. That scar, crooked and noticeable, is a part of my story.
Despite the imperfections, I snapped a quick mirror selfie, excitement bubbling up as I messaged two close friends: “I’m keeping it!”
When I emerged, my partner’s face mirrored my joy. We both understood that this swimsuit was here to stay. Yet, even amidst the happiness, I felt compelled to ask, “Shouldn’t I cover my stomach? What about my scar?”
He replied, “That scar is a reminder of the beautiful children we have. You have every right to bask in the sun like everyone else.”
And he’s right. I deserve to feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, to enjoy the ocean breeze, and to wear clothes that allow me to be comfortable in the scorching Southern heat. I deserve to relish in sunbathing, even if my body takes up more space than others. I deserve to sip fruity drinks at the pool bar and share tender moments with my partner in the water.
I’m ready to ignore the negative perceptions and fully embrace life, recognizing that I am more than just my flaws. My partner is aware of every contour of my body and celebrates it.
He understands the battles with diets, workout challenges, and the countless times we’ve indulged in late-night comfort food, laughing together at our favorite movies. His love is unwavering, not conditional on my weight or appearance.
I treasure his affection, but it doesn’t define my worth. I am deserving of joy, respect, and the freedom to just exist—regardless of whether anyone else finds me appealing.
At 33, I’ve spent many summers trying to hide myself, sending a message of inadequacy. My past swimsuits screamed, “Please ignore me. I know I’m too much.” But that ends now.
I have many summers ahead, and I refuse to spend them in uncomfortable clothing that makes me feel old. I deserve to feel the sun on my skin just like everyone else.
And you, dear reader, deserve that too. The time for hiding is over. Join me in embracing the warmth and the joy that life brings.
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Summary
This article highlights the journey of embracing one’s body, overcoming insecurities, and celebrating self-acceptance. It emphasizes the importance of feeling comfortable in one’s skin and enjoying life without the burden of societal expectations.