Parenting Insights
My children have a tendency to curse. My nine-year-old has been known to drop words like “hell” and “damn,” and occasionally he sings David Bowie’s “Oh! You Pretty Things,” which includes the term “bitch.” He also likes to exclaim “Oh my God!” in various tones, whether annoyed or surprised. My eleven-year-old is a bit sneakier with his language; I usually hear about his cursing from his siblings. As for my seven-year-old, he appears to avoid swearing, but honestly, I wouldn’t mind if he did.
I have certain words that are off-limits, and they understand that cursing in public is a no-go. However, when I hear what some might deem inappropriate language from my kids, I typically choose to overlook it.
The Meaning Behind the Words
To me, many “offensive” words like hell, damn, bitch, and even f*ck have largely lost their weight. For instance, when we say “damn,” it’s not like we’re really condemning something; it’s more of an expression: “Oh, F*CK!” The term “bitch” might come up when discussing something challenging. While I personally dislike “shit,” my kids don’t use it. Even the infamous F-word is usually reserved for extreme situations.
They don’t use these words in their literal contexts. If I ever heard them refer to poop as “shit,” we’d have a talk—not just because it’s gross, but because it’s not appropriate. And if they ever called a woman a “bitch,” there would be serious consequences. They grasp the difference, and because of that, I’m okay with their occasional use of the words.
Words That Are Off-Limits
There are indeed some words that I absolutely do not allow in my home. If I caught my children using any ethnic slurs, I would be furious. Such words display a level of hatred towards entire groups of people that is simply unacceptable. Those words carry a weight that makes them entirely different from casual swearing.
Additionally, there are a couple of other curse words I won’t permit, namely t*ts and c*nt, as they are often used to demean women. These terms have not lost their derogatory connotations, and because of that, they are strictly banned. I’m not sure if my kids have even encountered these words yet, because we tend to avoid individuals who harbor such contempt.
However, if they happen across a classic text, like when Hamlet references “country matters,” I’d take the time to explain the clever wordplay without chastising them. It wouldn’t be fair to deny them an appreciation for language.
Context is Key
I’m not overly concerned if my children curse; my spouse, on the other hand, is. So when I hear them using colorful language, I often remind them not to let their dad catch them. They know that those words have their place and should be used only in certain settings—namely, when they’re at home or among specific adults.
You wouldn’t catch my kids cursing in front of strangers. They’re aware that these words aren’t suitable for public settings and wouldn’t dare shout “Oh, hell!” in a store.
The Takeaway
Ultimately, it all boils down to context. Most curse words are used as exclamations rather than insults. However, when aimed at someone, they become hurtful. In our home, name-calling and ridicule aren’t tolerated. My kids don’t direct curse words at each other or anyone else. But if they slip up and say something like, “That’s a freaking pain,” I won’t sweat it. It’s just a word, after all.
As long as they’re not using curse words to insult people or describe tangible objects (like saying they fell on their ass), I’ll let it slide. They understand the nuances, and if they didn’t, we’d have a conversation about what’s appropriate. It’s a valuable life lesson that shapes their understanding of how we communicate with others.
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Summary
In navigating the topic of swearing among my children, I’ve adopted a less stringent approach. While I do have words that are off-limits, many common curse words have lost their significance in my household. My children understand the importance of context and know that some words are not to be directed at people or used in public. The focus is on teaching them respect and appropriate communication, allowing for a little leeway with exclamatory phrases.