A few weeks ago, I came across a discussion on a parenting forum where a mother expressed deep distress over her child’s lack of “gifted” status. She was consumed by anxiety about her child’s potential future, questioning what life could hold for an “average” child. Honestly, it left me baffled.
When my son was born, I certainly envisioned grand possibilities for him—perhaps he would become a pioneering scientist or even a global leader. I believe many parents share these aspirations, hoping their children will achieve greatness. However, as they grow, we begin to see their unique strengths and weaknesses, and we realize that our lofty dreams may not align with their individual paths. Those ambitions were ours, not theirs.
But when did we decide that a fulfilling life could only be led by those who are extraordinary? Why has society shifted away from valuing the average? It’s crucial to recognize and nurture our children’s inherent abilities, allowing them to thrive within those parameters. My son might be the one to discover groundbreaking cures or lead innovative movements. But he could also end up living an ordinary life, graduating from college, and finding happiness in a steady job, family life, and perhaps even becoming a dedicated volunteer in his community. He may never make headlines, but that doesn’t diminish the quality of his life. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine.
As parents, we naturally want the best for our children. While it’s admirable to desire a better life for them than we had, the modern interpretation of “the best” often spirals into unreasonable expectations that drain them of their joy. The pressure to excel transforms into a relentless competition, where success is measured by achievements that align with societal standards, such as Ivy League admissions or elite accolades.
Terms like “gifted” or “exceptional” have never resonated with me. The intense pressure to be “the best” contributes to a generation of exhausted and unhappy children who struggle with self-worth. We must consider the tragic consequences faced by those who feel they can’t meet these pressures and take drastic measures. While parents push for excellence, do they reflect on the inner dialogue they are fostering within their children?
This doesn’t mean we should abandon our aspirations for our kids or lower our standards. Instead, we should respect their capabilities, set realistic expectations, and encourage their passions. The ultimate goal of parenting should center around promoting happiness, love, and unconditional support. Isn’t it more important for our children to lead fulfilling lives, whatever that may look like—even if it falls within the realm of “average”?
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Summary
This article discusses the pressures parents face in raising “exceptional” children and advocates for appreciating the average. It emphasizes the importance of nurturing children’s unique abilities and prioritizing their happiness over societal expectations.