As families across the nation prepare to celebrate Mother’s Day this Sunday, I, too, will join my mother, my mother-in-law, and my children in the festivities. However, this year, I find it hard to embrace the day wholeheartedly. A nagging feeling of discontent lingers within me. The truth is, I’ve been reflecting on the treatment of mothers in America, and it infuriates me.
The reality is that America does not offer a warm embrace to its mothers.
Childbirth and Maternal Healthcare
Let’s begin with childbirth. Despite the fact that the U.S. allocates more funds than any other nation for maternal healthcare, we still rank among the highest in infant mortality rates among developed countries. Alarmingly, maternal mortality rates have increased significantly over the last decade. It’s no surprise that low-income mothers and those living in poverty—who lack access to quality prenatal and maternity care—bear the brunt of these tragic statistics.
According to the U.S. Census in 2013, approximately 46.5 million people in America are living in poverty. Yet, it is mothers and their children who are disproportionately affected. Most single-parent households are headed by women, and a staggering 31% of families led by single mothers are in poverty. The figure that truly haunts me is that 16.1 million American children are living in poverty.
These are children of mothers—mothers just like you and me—who may not go to bed with a full stomach. These mothers lie awake, heartbroken as they think of their children’s struggles. This isn’t just about the few women you might see asking for help on the streets; we’re talking about millions of mothers and their children, right here in our country.
This is unacceptable. I’m not discussing politics here; I’m speaking as a mother. I cannot accept that millions of children are living without adequate resources. It disgusts me.
Personal Reflections
Initially, I intended to write about my personal experiences as a mother—sharing my fatigue and my desire for a few peaceful hours on Mother’s Day. However, as I examined my own complaints, I realized they were, in fact, privileges.
My toddler may still wake during the night, but he sleeps in a warm room, has clean blankets, and if he falls ill, we can take him to a doctor who accepts our insurance. It costs us a mere $5 for essential medications. I often grumble about the toys strewn across my living room, yet that’s only because we have an abundance of them. I stress over screen time, but I should recognize that we have various devices to choose from, including a TV, a Wii, and several tablets and phones.
Like many middle-class families, we have faced financial trials. We became parents just as the Great Recession hit, and three years ago, while I was pregnant with my second child, my husband lost his job. The funding for his teaching role disappeared. For over a year, while he pursued new qualifications, we relied on food stamps. Though we were grateful, it barely covered our needs, and anxiety consumed me. We were confined to a one-bedroom co-op with two children, uncertain of our future. Yet, throughout that period, I never once fretted over my children’s survival, their health, or the stability of my marriage. We had savings to fall back on and family support.
This is not to downplay the very real struggles of middle-class mothers. I absolutely believe in voicing my exhaustion and isolation. I deserve moments of respite—flowers, dates with my husband, or a little pampering.
But I ask for these things with humility. I acknowledge that as a white, educated, middle-class woman, I come from a position of privilege.
Shared Desires Among Mothers
Ultimately, no matter our backgrounds, all mothers yearn for the same fundamental desires: healthy, happy children. These wishes weigh heavily on our hearts because happiness is not easily attained. Even with ample resources and the best medical care, health is never guaranteed.
So, to all mothers out there, I wish you a Mother’s Day filled with less worry and more peace. May your children shower you with love and affection, whatever form that may take. I hope for abundance for you today and every day.
Yet, I can’t help but desire more. I long for a kinder, more generous America, one that doesn’t make us wait for essentials like paid maternity leave, universal healthcare, and safe medical practices for mothers and their babies. We need accessible programs to support low-income women and ensure families can afford nutritious food—and so much more.
While we wait for change, mothers continue to rise to the occasion, giving their all to their children every day, even when they feel overwhelmed or inadequate. Mothers are resilient, imperfect, and stronger than they realize. Their children see them as the incredible figures they truly are.
However, love and respect mean little when basic needs go unmet, especially for mothers living in poverty.
Honoring Mothers
This Sunday, I will honor mothers across America, reflecting on their strength and affection. But I will also grieve, contemplating ways—within my small sphere of influence and alongside my children—to contribute positively, advocate, and strive for change.
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In summary, while we celebrate Mother’s Day, let’s also remember the challenges many face and strive for a more equitable future for all mothers and their children.